An intersting chapter, good until the end (in my opinion).

Be careful not to fall into writing the same book JKR already has (your commentator, for example, could be original but instead you just copied Lee). Your writing is good - could use some grammatical polish, but it's good - so just have faith in your writing ability and expand a little to make these characters memorable.

This chapter wasn't as strong. Still, I can tell by your writing that you have potential, so I'll keep my eye out for updates.

Keep writing!

I'll try not to stray too heavily into beta-mode while writing this review, but let me first say that you had some extreme exclamation point abuse in the first half of this story... they should be used sparingly. ;)

That said, this was really interesting and very well developed. There were times this could have used a few more lines here and there for flow and setting changes, but all in all you told your story very well. I'm glad you chose to do this as a oneshot and not a chaptered affair... it felt very natural like this, with the exception of the very beginning which felt apart from the rest of the story.

You did a fantastic job of conveying the emotions throughout the story, especially in the second half. Good writing, just needed some polish.

You really are getting so much better! You were right, this is one of the best things you've written.

Even if she had known what cardio-pulmonary resuscitation was, Minerva couldn't have answered. For only now had the meaning, and the connotations, of the name Harry sunk into her brain.

^^Those two sentences are art. Love it. Your characterization of Hagrid seems a bit off, and your development is occasionally awkward, but this is an interesting story so far and I can't wait to see where you end up taking it.

Some punctuation and small errors (" pain... Somehow" shouldn't be capitalized, should it?), but the emotion in the piece almost completely overrode it.

Just be careful, because you can't get away with as much in a drabble. :) Good writing, though, and the last line brought it all together very cleanly.