This is really good! Your punctuation is a bit dodgy sometimes at the end of sentences when you use both a comma and a fullstop, but other than that, it's really great! I love missing moments, and this really fits well with the story. Good job.
Nice content, but a little too much dialogue and sometimes a little hard to understand, but maybe that's just me. Anyway, I really enjoyed the H/G-ness of it, and Ginny's angry reaction was pretty in character.
Chapter 1: Chapter One: Missing Scene
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