Alan, this is wonderful. Thank you for pointing me this way.
I'll admit, I was immediately intrigued by the prologue. It's apparent that you have a way with expressing emotion through your writing.
The turn you've taken with Harry's tale is very interesting. I like stories that fill in the missing moments throughout the series. However, it seems that this is setting up to be much more than "filler". :)
Although Harry isn't my favourite character, he seems a bit neutered here. Perhaps this is done purposely to underscore the end effect of the training he's doing with Gracie. I've never seen him apathetic towards the Dursleys, but then, he is still in a bit of shock, I suppose, from Sirius' death.
That being said, Harry as you've written him has a new depth of emotion that I think was lacking in the series. He didn't seem that aware of the consequences to the events around him, but you've brought that more to the forefront of your story with his depression over Sirius and his fear for Ginny's safety.
Actually, I'm impressed with all of your characterisations. Umbridge made me simply squirm while I read her. The utter feeling of helplessness with her actions was surprising as I'd never felt intimdated by her before. Congratulations on a new level of creepiness with her. I enjoyed reading Dumbledore, as I never seem to get his "voice" quite right and I'm more than interested to see what you do with Severus in your tale.
Ah, the Bill/Tonks/Charlie/Fleur storyline... Hmm, there will be more, yeah? Some peek into the goings on there, because you know my fluffy little heart craves romantic intrigues!
I'm adding this to my favourites because I don't want to miss an update!
~Michelle
Chapter 7: CH5: Brand New Summer
