Penname: AberforthsAvatar [Contact]
Real name: Bob Johnson
Member Since: 05/05/2005
Membership status: Member



Beta-reader: No
Gender: male


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Reviews by AberforthsAvatar
It is after Harry Potter’s sixth year at Hogwarts. He started dating Ginny Weasley Christmas and his life for once is not so bad until he returns to Privet Drive and he realizes that the final battle looms. Can he discover the Power the Dark Lord knows not and finally move on with his life…I do not own Harry Potter this is just a hobby that I have. This is the first story of my Love and Family series. It is a prequel to my first FanFic Love Will Save Us.

I am concerned that later chapters will have a lot of violence and also some scenes of a sexual nature hence the rating is going to be R throughout.

Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: General Fan Fiction
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: Angst, Drama, Fluff
Warnings: Mild Language
Chapters: 32 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 51317; Read Count: 4820; Completed: Yes

Updated: 06/03/2005; Published: 03/08/2005
Reviewer: AberforthsAvatar (Signed)
05/12/2005
I like the idea of Ginny as a force of nature. You captured that aspect of her very well. I've long thought that there's a fierceness to her personality -- that comes through in your treatment of her. Well done! I liked the story very much, but I'm going to spend a bit of time on some problems I saw, so bear with me. For a first chapter of a seventh-year fic, I felt that there were details missing about sixth year. You've given us the shipping news, but little else. I'll have to read more, I guess. The tone of the writing struck me as a bit naive, somewhat like a Grandma Moses painting. A bit primitive, but definitely not simple. If you were trying for that effect, you succeeded. I thought Harry a bit passive here, although admittedly, the chapter's focus was on Ginny. You might want to play with some scenes from her point of view. You have a good feel for her, I think. I found some of the grammar a bit distracting. The creativity is excellent, but the grammar needs more attention to detail. Overall, I like the story and will definitely read further.

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for the feedback. I'm glad you like my work!



Chapter 1: Hurricane Ginny
Reviewer: AberforthsAvatar (Signed)
05/12/2005
I thought teh scen with Arthur watching Harry and Ginny was very well done. The dialog rang true-to-life, and the description from Harry about Ginny's signal as a Seeker was very in character for him. Arthur's quiet enjoyment of their conversation was fully in character as well.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked that chapter. It was one of my favorites to write. I'm glad that it was in character.



Chapter 2: Back To The Burrow
Reviewer: AberforthsAvatar (Signed)
05/12/2005
Having Harry help Ginny with the dream was a very effective scene. The emotional content was pitched just right, both for Harry and the Weasleys. I liked Ron's letter as well. It was a nice way to get a bit more back story in, and the tone was spot on. I'm not sure about the whole Ministry succession plot line here. JKR has said that there will be a new Minister in Harry's sixth year, yet you've kept Fudge in office until now. I'll reserve further comment until I see where this plot thread is going, but it feels a bit odd. Still, there's much to like in this chapter.

Author's Response: Yeah, I was concerned about that too, but read on I promise it gets better.



Chapter 3: A New Minister of Magic
Reviewer: AberforthsAvatar (Signed)
05/13/2005
I liked this chapter a lot. It has a nice internal pace, a lot smoother than the first chapters. The overall tone is very sweet. It's nice to see your Ron and Hermione so comfortable with each other. I feel a bit sad to see The Burrow lose its original character, but it's nice to see the Weasleys gain some material comforts. I sensed that you are setting the table a bit for upcoming chapters.


Chapter 4: Times of Change
Reviewer: AberforthsAvatar (Signed)
05/16/2005
Sorry to take a while getting to the next chapter. I found this chapter a bit of a mixed bag. I liked the by-play in the Prefects' meeting before the arrival of the new Head Girl and Boy -- nice job of letting some of the peripheral characters advance the story. Also, Ginny bristling at Harry's worry was a nice touch, very in character. However, I had a problem with some of the details. How was Ginny's scream heard through the Silencing Charm, for example? How did Lucius (you mis-spelled his name the first time, by the way) get onto the train? Could he have Apparated away once discovered? If not, why not? If he could have, why didn't he? There were a couple of other details that just seemed off. The creativity remains strong, though.


Chapter 5: Letters and Death Eaters
Reviewer: AberforthsAvatar (Signed)
05/16/2005
OK, let me mention two things right off: it was quiet on th etrain, not quite; and Mr. Malfoy's given name is Lucius, not Lucios. Please consider using a good proofreader to help with your chapters. Details again: did they stop the train so Dumbledore could Apparate to it, and away with Ginny to Madame Pomfrey? And Madame P letting Ginny out of hospital is a bit of a stretch! That said, this was a very good chapter. The bit with Ginny's emotions taking her back to the Chamber and her First year was wonderful. It was completely in character and believable. The actions of Seamus, Lavender, and Luna were very well done. And Harry's care for Ginny in the last scene was very sweet.


Chapter 6: Bending The Rules
How did this happen to Ginny? She was the youngest of seven! Join Ginny on the adventure of a lifetime...

Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Romance
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: Fluff
Warnings: Sexual Situations
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 5953; Read Count: 527; Completed: Yes

Updated: 05/02/2005; Published: 05/02/2005
Reviewer: AberforthsAvatar (Signed)
06/02/2005
I just walked my younger daughter down the aisle last Sunday, so this story appealed to me very much. I especially liked the way that you kept the focus on Ginny and her point of view, letting us know that Harry was to be the groom only after piquing our curiosity thoroughly. Slipping in that Ginny was a Puddlemere chaser at the end was a nice touch as well. The whole tone of the piece was consistently light and fun. I enjoyed it very much! Thanks for sharing this with us all.


Chapter 1: A Knut in my shoe
Wake Up Call by AndyB [Young Teens]
starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 5]
A cookie jar one-shot from a while back... the challenge was that it had to be Bill/Hermione, and involve a Weasley jumper, a pyramid, mistletoe and several other things.

Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Drabble
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 489; Read Count: 424; Completed: No

Updated: 05/11/2005; Published: 05/11/2005
Reviewer: AberforthsAvatar (Signed)
05/16/2005
Short, goes directly to the point, and shakes up your preconceptions: I loved it! Using Hermione's POV was nicely done, too.


Chapter 1: Christmas morning, and Hermione's asleep...
Say Yes by YelloWitchGrl [Mid Teens]
starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 33]
One Shot! Ginny asks Harry a question and she hopes he'll say yes. H/G

Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Romance
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: Angst, Drama, Fluff, General
Warnings: Mild Language
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 1809; Read Count: 677; Completed: Yes

Updated: 05/11/2005; Published: 05/11/2005
Reviewer: AberforthsAvatar (Signed)
05/15/2005
I enjoyed this very much. I doubt that Ron would speak so bluntly to Harry about Ginny, but I loved reading it. It was nice to see Harry actually listening in this story: it rather gives one hope that he's growing up, doesn't it?

Author's Response: I struggled with whether or not to have Ron speak so bluntly and decided, in the end, that Ron was nothing but blunt so maybe it was possible :-D Yeah, I hope Harry does mature some, as far as relationships go, and that we don't see him ignoring all girls. Ah well, we'll see soon enough. Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked it!!



Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Say Yes