Just what I'd hoped for...you did keep up the momentum of the story like the first chapter and the first one I read, was before I read HBP, so this is refreshing in that the characters have real emotions, something I desperately missed in HBP.
Harry falling asleep with Phoenix song in his head was smart. Did you make up 'Official Pronouncement Quill?' that's brilliant! Your attention to detail astounds me in that you even kept the name Mafalda Hopkirk in the letter of permission to use Underage Magic...most people don't remember stuff like that so they just make up any old name and it interferes with continuity of their story. When you wrote that Harry was glad to have contact with 'his world' it was very indicative that he doesn't consider his summer Muggle life, a part of his world and that he feels alienated in it...well done with just that simple choice of words. Something else most writers forget is the abuse Harry has suffered. I'm so glad you mentioned that for once, Harry wasn't chasitsed for using too much water...this is his first taste of freedom and you conveyed this clearly when you stated that the extra milk drinking was to test his boundries, rather than to satisfy thirst. I'm so glad you didn't just have him used to such luxeries like some people do. Harry would never expect this even with a warning from his friends in place....welll done!
Having Harry tidy up after his meal shows his strength of character.
Sirius' letter had me sobbing! all the number one's for the 'three' little things he wanted Harry to know. I liked that Sirius described the divide and conquer theory..Harry needs to know this. Remus' description of Sirius was almost a friendly eulogy of his friend and so accurate. When Sirius told Harry to live in a world worth saving, I take that as an indication that he will have something to live for...like Ginny??It was a great tool to get your readers interested by making them wonder along with Harry what Sirius could have missed out on that he advised Harry not to miss. Wanting is better than having...I hope not for Harry! Anyway, this a great story and I will be reading at least a chapter a day from now out. Thanks for the great reading time!
Chapter 2: Chapter 01: How Can You Do It Alone?