Member Since: 08/12/2006
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Hello. My name is Anna. I don't have much to say about myself. I'm just a girl who likes to write.
Snape is a little bit nicer than I imagine him, but everyone else in the story is perfectly in character. I really like how you've brought Dudley along. Great job, I'm looking forward to your next chapter.
Thank you so much! I'm glad you approve of Dudley. I was trying really hard not to make Snape nicer, but its difficult. I've been influenced by several wonderful Snape fics. Petunia is the hardest to write because I despise her.
I'm glad you are enjoying the story. I'll update the next chapter by Friday. Thanks for reviewing!
Thank you Orual! Your reasoning makes perfect sense to me. I have this image of Snape allowing the Kneazle ride on his shoulders all over Hogwarts. I can see them spitting at the students in unison.
Just after killing his father, Tom Riddle escapes to Romania to think about his heiritage, his life, and what he thinks about death itself. He runs into many obstacles, each of which only push him to further examine himself and the life he lives. He has to make a decision-- and the question is, what will the outcome be?
Wow, this was great. I've never seen Tom Riddle given a plausible motive in trying to live forever. You conveyed his thoughts very well. It almost fits canon, even, except for the fact that Riddle didn't learn about Horcruxes until some time after he killed his father. But I don't think anyone will mind the diviantion from canon, I certainly don't.
I rather liked your Circe riddle, too. Very creative.
Harry decides enough is enough when the Order once again keeps him isolated after Dumbledore's death. He escapes Privet Drive and goes out into the world by himself to search for a way to defeat Voldemort and his Horcruxes, and to find a reason for doing it. Spoilers of HBP and all previous books.
1500 words into 10.
I think you've got a good start, I thought your descriptions of the wizarding world at war were very believeable. However, I do think your need to be careful with your characterization of Harry and his impending romance with an original charcter (unless I'm assuming too much). You've made Harry very independent and given him a grasp of magic that he never displays in the book, and then he's angry at Ginny on top of that when all she did in the book was try to avoid hurting him. Combining that characterization with an American girl who has some sort of seer/prophetess power is a recipe for cliche if you are careless.
All in all, though, I am curious to see where you are going. Keep writing.
On the whole, you did a very nice job with this chapter. I find Matt's bounciness endearing, though he played a rather small role in this chapter. My only complaint is that I think you lost a little bit of Harry's character with: “No, not many would have done what you and your family did. I know plenty of people that would have cracked another one of my ribs and left me there. No one would take a stranger into their home.” It just seemed unnecessarily angsty. But you are the author.
If you still need a beta reader, you can email me at email@example.com. You can usually expect same day feedback from me. I don't consider myself harsh, but I am critical, so be forewarned.
Thanks for the review! Don't worry about Matt's minor role. He is definately a character that i have plans for. this chapter was an intro to my OC's, some setting intro, and a bit of relationship development between Harry and Kaycee. Expect more action in the future.
You're right. Perhaps it was out of character, but i wanted the Pearsons to have a slight hint at Harry's past life. Thanks again!
Hey, good to see an update. I liked this chapter. I'm glad you came back to Harry's friends; I hate it when authors just throw them away. Nice job, keep up the good work.
Minerva has a craving for tuna and goes to the kitchen. However, someone else is there who is just about to eat the last one.