Real name: Chad
Member Since: 06/28/2006
Membership status: Member
A thousand-year-old oath stands to be fulfilled. The war between Good and Evil has been raging on for a millennium. It has a chance to end, but has the hero of the side of good lost the will to live…? Harry Potter returns to the Dursleys' care for the summer, but he finds the loss of Sirius hard to bear. He blames himself for his death. Voldemort doesn’t let him rest though, and soon Harry is flung back into his world. The war escalates, and more people die or join Voldemort. The fear of the Dark Lord reaches beyond the wizarding world and into the Muggle one. Both worlds will collide, as Harry will have to make the ultimate choice between what is right and what is easy. For in this war, some things are more important than life or death…
What if there was more to the 'power he knows not' than Harry or the Headmaster knew? What if Harry's whole life was a test? Would the Wizarding World pass? What are the consequences of betrayal and neglect?
One thing that I really enjoy about fanfiction is when an author takes the characters that we all know and makes them dance in a way that they normally wouldn't. I enjoyed the way that you did so here.
While there were a few minor typos, it was nothing major at all. The biggest disappointment for me was that this was just a one-shot. I would love to see you turn this idea into a chaptered story, as I think it could be marvelous (nudge,nudge)
Thanks for sharing this with us.
I thought that your name sounded familiar. You wrote "Flames of Betrayal" didn't you. It was a favorite of mine for quite a while and then it just up and vanished from fanfiction.net. If you have your story up elsewhere I'd love to know where so I could reread it.
Very nice. I'm starting to like oneshots centered on the lesser HP characters more and more. Thanks for taking your time to write for us.
Our favorite red-head needs to go to the bathroom at King's Cross Station, right before the Hogwarts Express leaves. Hilarity ensues as Ron discovers motion-sensor toilets, sinks, and hand-dryers!
A snippet of Ron/Hermione at the end!
The war is over, his battles have been fought, and he has to go home. But first, there is one last thing he wants to do.
We all know what happens to James and Lily in the end, but what about the beginning? Starting in the end of their seventh year, up until that fateful Halloween night. Follow James and Lily, along with the rest of the marauder’s battling N.E.W.T.’s, jobs, tests, and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Some mild swearing, and there will be a very mild scene of a sexual nature later on.
Just read your first chapter. While I don't normally read Marauder era fics, I decided to make an exception. What do you know, I found this very enjoyable. Very nice use of a cliffhanger by the way.
Just a couple of minor things that I noticed. You might want to rethink the use of (with an explanation in it). If you need to get some information across to the reader, explain it through your narrative.
Also, you might want to find another way to indicate a character's internal monologue. Using quotes around both spoken and thought confused me a few times, and I had to reread several passages to figure out what was happening. I find that italics work well for this. Here is an example.
"My bathroom," Greg said as he pointed down the hall, "is around the corner, Stacy." Please tell me I flushed the toilet, Greg thought as Stacy headed to his bathroom.
Like I said earlier, you have a very good start here, and its a very enjoyable read. Well, I'm off to read your next chapter now.
Thanks for sharing this with us and keep writing..