Penname: Cody DeDannan [Contact]
Real name: Saber Alexander
Member Since: 04/10/2006
Membership status: Member

I've been writing now for about fifteen years.  I began with horrible Mary Sue characters in original stories in middle school.  When I got out of high school I discovered what fanfiction was and started with ThunderCats.  I have since expanded my repertoire.

I have my ThunderCats fanfiction and other stories here:  http://www.hyenastormcub.com/stories/stories.html

 I also have a website of writing tips that some may find useful here:  http://www.hyenastormcub.com/stories/writingtips.html

Hope you enjoy! 



Beta-reader: No


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Reviews by Cody DeDannan
Dolores' Sorrow by Kagome [Mid Teens]
starstarstarstar [Reviews - 5]

Remus Lupin had always wanted to ask Dolores Umbridge why she hated half-breeds that much. But when he has the opportunity to know, he finds out he really didn’t want to see the skeletons Dolores hid in her closet.



Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Dark Fiction
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Dark Fiction, Mild Language, Mild Violence
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 6150; Read Count: 658; Completed: Yes

Updated: 08/14/2005; Published: 08/14/2005
Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/16/2006

Yikes!! Poor Remus!  That was a heck of a story...  Man.  knwoing that he was the one, no matter howe he could not help it, that made mbridge such a....  Not that she is right in what she does, of coruse...  I lked the premise of this story very much.

 If I were to offer some constructive critisicm, I would mention the clarity of the story.  It was a little confusing...sometimes i coudlnt; quite tell what you were inferring, and it took a couple of readings to find out how Padfoot and the others figured into this story until I realized that Lupin was the werewolf.  A little less mystery might make the story more real to the reader.

 

But again, wonderful story, great mood setting and very realistic emotions and characterization. 




Chapter 1: Dolores' Sorrow

A thousand-year-old oath stands to be fulfilled. The war between Good and Evil has been raging on for a millennium. It has a chance to end, but has the hero of the side of good lost the will to live…? Harry Potter returns to the Dursleys' care for the summer, but he finds the loss of Sirius hard to bear. He blames himself for his death. Voldemort doesn’t let him rest though, and soon Harry is flung back into his world. The war escalates, and more people die or join Voldemort. The fear of the Dark Lord reaches beyond the wizarding world and into the Muggle one. Both worlds will collide, as Harry will have to make the ultimate choice between what is right and what is easy. For in this war, some things are more important than life or death…



Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Alternate Universe (AU), General Fan Fiction
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: Action/Adventure
Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Mild Language, Mild Violence, Strong Language, Strong Violence
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 72904; Read Count: 6553; Completed: No

Updated: 08/27/2005; Published: 08/20/2005
Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/20/2006

Wow.  All I can say for this chapter is that it was awesome--you have some great descriptions in here.  I will be returning to this story when I have some time.

 

Just a couple of things I noticed, minor grammatical mistakes.

 

---His screams pierced the otherwise quite countryside.---

 

The “quiet” typo.

 

--Salazar’s wand flew through the air and into Gryffindors free hand.--

 

You forgot an apostrophe in “Gryffindor’s”.  You did the same with the same word when talking of Gryffindor’s family sword.

 

Again, this is fantastic.  I love epic tales!



Chapter 1: Prologue
Make A Wish by Oomahey [Young Teens]
starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 16]
This fic is Harry's POV of the Birthday Challenge fic, For A Wish, submitted by YelloWitchGrl, with a little bit of Ron's POV. Read that first!

Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Romance
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: General
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 5734; Read Count: 559; Completed: Yes

Updated: 09/01/2005; Published: 09/01/2005
Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/12/2006

Hello!  That is nicely written!  I think you have the characters down well, you seem to be good with characterization.  The only thing I might comment on is the scene-setting and narration.  It's a little matter of fact, I had a slight problem keeping focused on what was happening. 

 Romance is not normally my thing, but it was well-doen.  : ) 




Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Make A Wish
I See Nothing by Seren [All Ages]
starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 9]
As long as he's in that cupboard, you won't see anything.

Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Character Study
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: General
Warnings: Mild Violence
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 1422; Read Count: 591; Completed: Yes

Updated: 10/27/2005; Published: 10/27/2005
Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/24/2006

Wow.  This was very good...a strange, different style, it worked very well.  Lots of emotion, and a great look into Petunia's mind.  (Though I really wanted to deck Dudley!  That *&^@$*&^)

If I were to offer a constructive critisism, I would say that some of it is very vague, and non-specific in parts, to the point that I must interrupt the flow of the story to figure ut what you're referring to.

 But that's only minor.  Well done!




Chapter 1: I See Nothing
Chasing Dragons by Seren [All Ages]
starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 6]
Two days after the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, Ginny Weasley sits at the banks of the Great Lake, remembering a game she once played with Ron, and contemplating who she is, what she was, and her decision to reclaim her innocence.

Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Character Study
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: General
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 1370; Read Count: 517; Completed: Yes

Updated: 10/28/2005; Published: 10/28/2005
Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/12/2006

This is a nice little bit of character exploration for Ginny!  Though I am not quite sure what it is she burned, nor what she was writing on.  Or to.  The story is not completely clear, and sometimes goes back and forth between tenses.

What I liked best about it is that you have her character down well, I think,  and I got a chuckle out of her Patronus being a warthog.  I lvoed the story about the princess and dragon and how she and Ron played.  And how it let her make her Patronus.

Well done! 




Chapter 1: Chasing Dragons

This retells the events surrounding the Dementor attack at Privet Drive -- from a far more sinister point of view. Also shows Dudley Dursley's worst memory.



Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Dark Fiction
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: Drama
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 1097; Read Count: 424; Completed: Yes

Updated: 12/14/2005; Published: 12/14/2005
Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/12/2006
Fantastic!  A story from the POV of a dementor, and it was completely believable and very creepy.  Great mood-setting, and fantastic showing of Umbridge's character.  (That jerk.) 
 
There were only a couple of things that caught me that I might add as contructive criticisms:
 
--The sun was beginning to go down--
 
That is slightly awkward to me.  A little passive, not quite as vivid as it could be.   Perhaps a description of what happened such as: "The sky blazed with rays of red and pink as the sun dipped towards the horizon."  or something like that.  Something more active.And the "he" at the beginning...has the reader wondering who they're reading about.  (Though I get the feeling that was supposed to be that way!)  Ack, they're dementors!  LOL 
 
---The fear was radiating from the creature’s prone form like the sun, which was by now completely below the horizon---
 
Good descriptions, but a little mixed.  You go from the radiating fear, to the sun going down.  It seemed a bit like a mixed simile to me.  Maybe the fear radiated like the rays the setting sun had cast on the sky,m or something like that. 
 
I hope you do not mind my suggestions, and hope that they might be of some help!  I've added it to my favorites.


Author's Response: Not at all -- you\'ve raised some valid issues. Thank you, and glad you enjoyed. Yes, the "he" was very deliberate, for I not only had in mind that it was a dementor, but who this dementor USED to be >:)



Chapter 1: n/a
Capturing Luna by ladylarna [All Ages]
starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 10]
Colin Creevey is determined to develop the perfect picture of Luna Lovegood. If only the potions would cooperate... Colin/Luna; a look at living in two worlds. Oneshot.

Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: General Fan Fiction
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: Fluff, General
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 1730; Read Count: 462; Completed: Yes

Updated: 12/17/2005; Published: 12/17/2005
Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/12/2006

Very nice!  Good characterization on Colin, I think, and though romance is not usually my thing, I do like the unique take on it you've used.  A constructive critisism:

 

---It had been earlier in the day, and Colin and Luna were walking around the lake together---

 

That starts out very awkwardly...  To me it would have done better to say "Earlier in the day, Colin and Luna..."  Etc. but again, a small thing. 




Chapter 1: Capturing Luna
...and joined a tenpin bowling league instead. This crazy, AU ficlet is the result of a writing contest and an insane, persistent plot bunny.

Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Humor
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: Fluff
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 3296; Read Count: 508; Completed: Yes

Updated: 12/23/2005; Published: 12/23/2005
Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/12/2006
ROFL!  Oh my.  That whole crew friends and bowling together...  That was great.


Author's Response: :D Thanks! Yeah, I had written this as a contest entry -- it came out of nowhere. Sometimes, I get the strangest plot bunnies. I don\'t know what I\'m feeding them!



Chapter 1: n/a

Albus Dumbledore and Tom Riddle play a game of chess -- but is there more at stake than a checkmate?



Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: General Fan Fiction
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: Drama, General
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 4517; Read Count: 607; Completed: Yes

Updated: 12/30/2005; Published: 12/30/2005
Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/12/2006
A note for you: It may seem as though I am not-picking in my reviews, and I mght be a little bit.  But I enjoy your stories a great deal (and I do a lot of intense editing for my cousin's writing as well) so I tend to point out anyhting that to me takes away from the effectiveness of the story.  Again I hope you take it as it's intended; as constructive advice.  I don't bother commenting on stories I don't like!  : )  Anyway I am commenting on this particular story as I read it, not afterwards.  So it's kind of a blow by blow review.
 
---along the outer wall of the small room he was in.---
 
"he was in" is a little awkward and unnecessary.  since he's pacing the room, the reader will know he's in the room.
 
Oo, "stark".  I always liked that word.  Very descriptive. Metronomic!  Another good word!
 
How very intriguing so far, this game...  I love how Dumbledore replies to Voldemort, especially using his name.  Oo, Grindelwald!  Nice tie-in there!  And an ominous inference to who that Muggle might be.  And you know, as I am reading, I haven't paid much attention to the game of chess itself...but though I know little of the game, I realize there's a whole lot being said there!  And the fact that Tom began as the while side, and Dumbledore as the black I thought was wonderfully ironic!  LOL
 
A nicely symbolic story I think!  Though the end leaves me a little confused.  Not sure what the ash was, or represented, or why they were playing a game of chess.  As I have said before, I don't do well with symbolism and would enjoy a bit of an explanation for this story.  I enjoyed it nonetheless!  : )


Author's Response:

I never mind constructive criticism. I consider myself a semi-professional writer, so I\'m used to it :) I appreciate you taking the time to leave me an in-depth review like this.

 OK-- War can be seen as a bit of a chess game itself, with the kings as the ideology. I had Tom playing white, which is considered ideal for a more agressive, offensive player. The final pawn, of course, is Harry. I have to re-read this story for the symbolism of some of the other pieces (it\'s been a while), but most of the others are open for interpretation.

The room is of Tom\'s choosing, so everything is in black and white -- with three notable exceptions: the sand in the hourglass, Dumbledore\'s robes, and the ash at the end. All of these are grey. Dumbledore\'s robes are dove-grey, for peace. Time is grey, meaning that it adheres to neither the side of dark nor light. It is neutral. And the ash at the end -- is the combination of the two simple pawns used during the battle -- the Everyman caught up in a battle he or she may not fully understand. The result for both spent pawns is the same: Death. So again, the neutrality of grey.

What can I say? I\'m a sucker for symbolism!




Chapter 1: n/a
This was a contest entry on another site.
Snape, in the sunset of his life, is reflecting on that life with some bitterness. A ghost from his past visits him and offers him one more chance to dance. Hanky alert!

Categories: Harry Potter; Characters: None; Archive Challenge: None
Classification: Character Study
Crossover Classes: None
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Character Death
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 1799; Read Count: 403; Completed: Yes

Updated: 01/08/2006; Published: 01/08/2006
Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/12/2006
Nicely done!  Good characterization, though I was a little confused.  Not quite sure who Lenore was, or who the other "she" Lenore had danced with was.  There seemed to be a lot of symbolism in the story, which I don't understand well.  but you set the mood well and the ending was very good! 


Author's Response:

Heh, OK, keep in mind this story was written more than a year before HBP. In fact, I think it was the third story I had published online.

Lenore was a classmate of Snape\'s, and one of the few to show him any kindness. She died young, before Snape could work up the nerve to tell her about his feelings.

 The other woman/being is Death: a frightening creature for the young Severus, but more warm and welcoming to the older, tired Severus.

The dancing may have been inspired by one of my favorite television shows, Babylon 5, when one of the main characters states "my shoes are too tight, and I have forgotten how to dance." Dancing -- at least as a couple -- is a form of union, of connection. Snape never learned to connect, and Lenore is offering him another chance at connecting with someone before the end.

I think I explained about the roses at the end, but deep red roses can symbolise mourning, and the fact that it is closed, in this case, is life or love unrealized -- it never fully bloomed. The fully-bloomed white rose at the end is eternal love, fully realized.




Chapter 1: n/a