Penname: godblesmaryoloughlin [Contact]
Real name: sean
Member Since: 05/09/2006
Membership status: Member


gday, my names sean, and i am very proud to say that i am australian.

i am 19, and i live in sydney. i firmly believe that aussie rules and cricket are the two greatest sports in the universe. if you happen to know anything about aussie rules and the Swans, you may be able to guess at what i am talking about in my penname.

id like to take this opportunity to clear up a few things about australia, its people and its culture, that seem to bother a few people.

1. "aussie" is pronounced "ozzy" (like ozzy osbourne). you brits and europeans seem to get it right most of the time, but whenever i hear americans, and some canadians (though you're not so bad), it jars my ears. soft (s)s mate!

2. australians do not hop around on (or in) kangaroos or keep koalas as pets. the closest ive ever been to a koala (which is not, by the way, a type of bear) is about 10 metres (33 feet), and that was in a zoo. ive only ever even touched a kangaroo once, let alone ridden one, and that too was in a zoo.

3. not all australians have tanned skin and blond hair, nor do we all constantly wear board shorts, a tee-shirt and have zinc cream smeared over our noses, nor do we all go surfing every day. that's just guys from the shire, which is south. i'm an eastie.

4. yes, the legal drinking age, like in england, is 18 in australia. and because australia is soooo much better than england at everything (especially cricket, and rugby, for that matter), all you newly 18 yanks come on over! oh yeah, canada has a low drinking age too, but its   too bloody cold there for anything but skiing, snowboarding and eating bacon.

5. yes, australia was first settled as a convict colony, but no, we do not rob each other every day. australia  was only partially settled by convicts, and these people were mostly convicted of stealing a loaf of bread or something stupid like that. living in australia is just as safe as anywhere else in the world, and it seems to me to be safer than the US, what with the fact that banks don't hand out guns as part of a special deal.

6. no, not all australians say "g'day mate", "cheers, mate", "streuth" or "bloody oath", nor do we all swear every 12 seconds. i just happen to be one who does (i'll try to keep it out of my writing though, if i do get around to submitting something). however, i have never, ever, EVER called a girl a "sheila" (shudders at the thought). in fact, i have never met anyone who has.

7. yes, it does get hotter as you go further north in australia, or anywhere in the southern hemisphere, yes, we do have christmas during the summer, and i wouldn't change it for the world, and yes, for the last time, TOILETS DO FLUSH BACKWARDS HERE!!!!!

there, glad i got that off my chest. thanks for reading.

finally, id like to say something on a more serious note. the plight of the australian image in the minds of others is a subjects of greatest concern here in australia, not just to me, but to many of my fellow aussies. that is why i am sitting here, typing away for the third time because the first time my internet browser crashed and the second time my penname had one too many letters (thats why i spelt bless "bles"). i am spreading the word (stirring music)....putting to death the sick and twisted rumours (music getting louder)....changing the world, one Harry Potter fan at a time! (deafening applause).

but if you dont care about what i have to say; if you would rather play soccer (yes, soccer. three sports by the name of football in australia is enough, thank you) or watch the superbowl without sparing a thought for me and my island home, just remember this: as far as im concerned, YOU'RE UPSIDE DOWN!!!


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