Penname: apollo13 [Contact]
Real name: Evie
Member Since: 26/07/07
Membership status: Member

Hi! I hope to be an author one day, but at the moment I'm just writing on MNFF, so I think I should try my hand at orginal. :) I'm fourteen years old, and I live in Suffolk, England.



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Reviews by apollo13
A young woman finds herself tangled in the technicalities of religion where everything she believed about Heaven and Hell changes in just one final breath.

Categories: General Fiction; Characters: None; Chapters: 7 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 12355; Read Count: 1827; Completed: No

Updated: 10/03/09; Published: 10/08/07
Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
13/08/07

I like the start of this story, and you've already established Candice as a character who is very real.

However, I was a bit confused as to why she didn't take the bus - didn't she have enough money? Also, this bit:

And no offense but I really could hurt you if I wanted to and not just with my bike, especially if you wern't paying attention,

I dunno, it just sounded... wrong to me. Not quite right. Very bookish, and not very real. Also, there should be a comma after offense.

Other than those two nit-picks, I really liked it and I look forward to future chapters. :)

~Evie



Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Sorry it took me so long to respond, half of it is because that "section" that bothered you bothered me too but I still wanted the point to be made, so I toyed around with it a little and hopefully it sounds better now.  As for why she didn't take the bus...she just preferred walking, I might clarify that as well though I haven't yet. But thank you so much for the helpful response and I look forward to your future reviews!



Chapter 1: Prologue
Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
06/09/07

You know, Candices views on religion seem to be a lot like mine. ;-)

Hmm, there's definately something up with that man...

~Evie



Author's Response: One would think that wouldn't they? Thanks for the review :)



Chapter 2: Chapter 1
Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
06/09/07

Huh? What? I'm confused and creeped out - there's something really weird going on here, and you've got me hooked!

~Evie



Author's Response: All will be explained in good time...or Chapter 4...whichever comes first.  I'm glad you're hooked though, my plot is succeeding. Thanks for the review!



Chapter 3: Chapter 2
A young woman stumbles across something she shouldn't have...

Categories: Horror Fiction; Characters: None; Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 835; Read Count: 251; Completed: Yes

Updated: 13/08/07; Published: 13/08/07
Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
13/08/07

**shudder** You've creeped me out AGAIN - I thought that Ignorance is Bliss was bad! How you come up with such disturbing idea's, I don't know...

Like I said before, this would make a great movie. I really liked how you managed to create this story, in only a drabble. :)

Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading more about this world!

~Evie



Author's Response:

Thanks! :)

-Amy




Chapter 1: Chapter 1
[Reviews - 2]
A simple errand with an interesting detour...

Categories: Horror Fiction; Characters: None; Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 1154; Read Count: 242; Completed: Yes

Updated: 24/08/07; Published: 20/08/07
Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
25/08/07

Ooooh, so that's why Elenzer is different to the others! I hope we see more of him in the future - you've created a very interesting world.

~Evie




Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Humans tend to see the world in terms of black and white, dark and light. In the cold of autumn, twelve-year-old Simon must learn to get past that blindness and face his fears the hard way.

Categories: Horror Fiction; Characters: None; Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 1803; Read Count: 745; Completed: Yes

Updated: 14/09/07; Published: 12/09/07
Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
16/09/07

aw, poor kid!

I hate graveyards - my best friend used to live right next to one, and her window over looked it. I used to get so scared whenever I slept around there.

But then, there's one in my village and I love it, because the epitaphs can be really inspirational, and some of the graves go back years and years - there's a couple from the 1800's and even one from the 1700's. There are others that are probably older, but they're too worn to read now.

Anyways, great fic!

~Evie



Author's Response: Thank you! : )



Chapter 1: The Graveyard

Magdalena, 16-years-old, lives in Livorno (Tuscany), Italy. Ryan, 17-years-old, lives in Albany, Western Australia. How do the lives of these two teens interwine? Well, by being pen pals! They are assigned as each other's pen pals in a website and start corresponding easily, for they have common interests.

 So how is this interesting? Well, Magdalena's father is offered a job...in a company in Albany! And who has to move along with him? Right -- the rest of the family. Who lives in Albany too again?

 Numerous sub-plots and secondary characters (and BE AWARE of the band geekiness =P)



Categories: Romance Fiction; Characters: None; Chapters: 2 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 6035; Read Count: 2085; Completed: No

Updated: 23/10/07; Published: 10/10/07
Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
11/10/07

OI! I"M ENGLISH AND I LIKE TO THINK THAT WE DON'T HAVE AN ACCENT THAT MAKES PEOPLE WANT TO PUKE!!! My accent is far from sophisticated - I think you just don't like the English accents that the Simpsons make us out to have, along with all the actors in HP and other English films, who are all posh. Baisically, you can only make it as an actor if you're born with money and pushy parents. /rant

Other than that DESPECIABLE PART, it was really interesting, and sounded very much like the typical teenage worl. I would have liked occasional breaks from the emails, but I guess you'll lapse into proper story format once he moves, right?

It sounds like an interesting plot line. :)

JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE BAD ABOUT THE ENGLISH, 'CAUSE WE CAN ROCK TOO! :p

~Evie



Author's Response:

Evie -- I don't dislike the accent, really, just my characters do XD; But you know, you're probably right. It's movies (and stupid recordings I have to hear in English class) that distort my notion of the english accent. The other day in English, our teacher had the most horrible wonderful idea and decided to make us listen to a recording in which a woman was reading a text from our textbook. Her accent was so ARTIFICIAL that we just wanted to run away. Okay, so I wanted to run away (because the others were too stupid to realize that there IS a difference between britishes and americans, but okay) but still... Oh and I'm still thinking about whether to switch to story format or not. I MEAN, I don't want to stick entirely to e-mails but... You know "The Boy" series by Meg Cabot? They're really, really good -- you should read them. I have the ebooks and everything. They're not just e-mails, really, and I was thinking more along the lines of-- Oh. Plot. Right.

 

Anyway, thanks for the review XD (And good to know you also write at MNFF! (I read in your profile (I love the parenthesis usage)))




Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Broken by coppercurls [Young Teen]
starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 2]

Luke and his sister find a confusing girl on their return home one night. It is obvious that she needs help, yet the help she needs may be something even greater or more difficult than Luke can give.

"We found her in the shadow of a dumpster, thown away like last week's trash, withering and beginning to smell. At first I thought she was just a pile of rags thrown together, an undersized scarecrow."



Categories: Fantasy Fiction; Characters: None; Chapters: 1 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 2879; Read Count: 804; Completed: Yes

Updated: 22/12/07; Published: 05/12/07
Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
24/12/07

Wow, that was stunning! A dark, mysterious piece of work, which is beautifully crafted. It reminds me a lot of Phillip Paulman's His Dark Materials. Your descriptions at the start of the story really caught my eye and drew me in. Excellent job, I look forward to reading more from you - is there a sequel planned for this?

~Evie




Chapter 1: Broken
The Ghost by MaiaMadness [Young Teen]
starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 2]
Upon the tragic death of her mother, fourteen-year-old Elyse is forced to move to live with her father, at his great estate in the country. But Mr Lyndon is a bad-tempered man with little patience for young girls, and his estate is as secretive as he is, filled with riddles, mysteries and ghosts.


Categories: General Fiction; Characters: None; Chapters: 2 Table of Contents Series: None
Word count: 2418; Read Count: 1978; Completed: No

Updated: 05/05/08; Published: 20/12/07
Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
24/12/07

Oooooh, spooky! I could actually feel goosebumps rise on my arms just then. ;)

The relationship between the girl and her father is really interesting, I'd love to read more!

 

~Evie



Author's Response: Wow! Thanks! My first review ever on this site! :) More is coming eventually. Tried to write a little just today, but I'm just not inspired right now... Thanks for reviewing!



Chapter 1: Chapter 1