Ah, I'm so glad you've started posting chapters again! It's such a unique story line and your characters are absolutely fascinating. I look forward to seeing what comes next!
Chapter 6 is already in the making and I have finally got around to mapping the end of the story so more chapters should be up soon...depending on if I can get a minute to write while I finish up school. Thank you for the review!!
I am already intruiged by this character as I re-read the beginning of your story. Who is he? How did he know what she was thinking? And why in heaven's name is he so concerned?
I'm glad the Preface serves its purpose...a hook of endless questions. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
Huh? What? I'm confused and creeped out - there's something really weird going on here, and you've got me hooked!
~Evie
You know, Candices views on religion seem to be a lot like mine. ;-)
Hmm, there's definately something up with that man...
~Evie
Oh boy. Talk about truly being divided. I don't think I could ever deal with that kind of situation. It was a good chapter, very suspenseful and I look forward to seeing more from you.
Man, Candice is not having a good couple of days.
I just wanted to point out that you called her Kira a couple times in the story and I don't know if that was done on purpose or not. Anyways, I really enjoyed this chapter as well.
Good job so far
I know, poor Candice..
And I am totally and completely embarassed by the Kira thing, it was my original name for the main character and it slipped in and out a lot during that chapter, I thought I had switched them all back but I missed two! thanks for pointing that out.
thanks for the review.
Hmmm, it is an intriguing beginning. It did seem a very strange encounter and I am curious to see what happens next.
I like the start of this story, and you've already established Candice as a character who is very real.
However, I was a bit confused as to why she didn't take the bus - didn't she have enough money? Also, this bit:
And no offense but I really could hurt you if I wanted to and not just with my bike, especially if you wern't paying attention,
I dunno, it just sounded... wrong to me. Not quite right. Very bookish, and not very real. Also, there should be a comma after offense.
Other than those two nit-picks, I really liked it and I look forward to future chapters. :)
~Evie