Reviews For Gangs

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Reviewer: inspirations (Signed)
10/04/09 - 11:20 am
Hello, honey. Nice story so far. You’ve done a good job of introducing the way the school is socially structured, and it shows us where people stand well.

I get the impression this is set in modern times [like, now], and the scene you’ve set this on is realistic if that’s the case. I mean, Amy and Becky - two of those names that seem to crop up everywhere - and the introduction of a Polish boy, too. Also, the popular kids hanging around in empty classrooms - I’ll bet they act as if they own those classrooms too. Lol.

The characterisation you’ve built up is interesting. I’m not sure what I think of Becky - she seems a bit cruel to Meg because she goes off to snipe about her, but on the other hand, it’s something every teenage girl does. As for Meg, just by describing her and having her little bit of dialogue about this guy, you show us exactly who she is. And when you mentioned her orange layer of foundation I had to laugh - I can never quite figure out why some girls wear so much of the stuff.

She hated them. Becky hated them. She hated the way they walked. She hated the way they talked. She hated everything about them.

I love this first line. The repetition emphasises how Becky feels and gets the story underway, while the rhyme between ‘walked’ and ‘talked’ is slightly clichÚd, but it gets the point across and was a great start note.

One thing that really caught my attention was the word ‘confidence’. I think this is one of the issues when it comes to interacting - it really does make some people feel left out, and it hurts to be shunned just because you feel as if you can’t speak out, as such. I know I’ve been in that place more than once, and I know [again xD] plenty of others have too.

Few nit-picks: you narrate with the word ‘Meg’ for that character throughout, and on just one occasion you change it to ‘Megan’ - it confused me a bit. When you describe Amy, you say what colour her hair is, then in the next paragraph, you say she’s dyed it a totally different colour. I’d make this distinction clearer by saying something like ‘she had … hair, but she’d dyed it …’ I understand that you’re making the distinction between Amy and Meg, but if you swap the description order around, you can still do that, but include the detail more clearly, too.

she agreed with Becky whenever she’d been in an unfair situation been in an unfair situation. - you repeated ‘been in an unfair situation’.

That’s all - I’ll read on now. xx

Author's Response:

Wow, thank you for such a detailed and thoughtful review!! :D It's probably the best review I've ever had - ever! :D

**hugs**

~Evie




Them
Reviewer: thecrimsonwhisperer (Signed)
10/03/09 - 01:43 am

Even though it's been forever since TRC has been updated and this story has probably been waiting for ever, I hope you haven't abandoned it because it's still good, and shocking, and crazy all at once. It's nice having a fellow author also working on a multi-chaptered fic, it keeps me motivated. And really, even thought the cliff hanger isn't crazy, I'd like to see Becky's reaction.



Author's Response:

Well, at the moment I am currently doing ym GCSE exams, so all writing has been put on hold. Thank you for your support and lovely review though!

 

~Evie




Malting Pothole
Reviewer: sierraquill1715 (Signed)
27/04/08 - 06:36 am
Ooh.... hey... that was smart writing..... update quick!!

Author's Response: Well, I keep trying, but I'm just getting sent blank rejection letters. Annoying, no?



Blood on Your Hands
Reviewer: MaiaMadness (Signed)
26/02/08 - 10:40 am

Wow... Poor Becky! I hope she calls for an ambulance from a payphone or something... That would be smart. I almost hate her a little bit right now... Stupid, stupid Becky! Then again, it was stupid to join the gang in the first place. She's done so many bad things since she started hanging out with those people. Still, I hope she wises up eventually.

Great chapter! I'm really impressed!



Author's Response:

Thank you! Yeah, she is stupid, isn't she?

 

~Evie




Blood on Your Hands
Reviewer: LadyMortis (Signed)
17/01/08 - 10:37 am

Oh no!!!

 I like the mystery girl... (alot more than the other characters)

Anyway, I thought you did a good job once again... YOu just have the <i> </i> things showing.... I hope it doesn't italicize on me......

 Seriously though, you did a really good job with all your characters and I can't wait for more



Author's Response:

Gah, stupid tags!!

 

Thank you so much!!




Blood on Your Hands
Reviewer: LadyMortis (Signed)
17/01/08 - 10:32 am

Hey,

once again, this was a good chapter and it was gripping but evil cliffy.... thank god I have been gone so long that now I can go see what happens.

 I can't wait to find out. Good job



Author's Response: thanks!! I'll probably update soon!!



The Box Office
Reviewer: thecrimsonwhisperer (Signed)
07/01/08 - 07:34 pm

Ah! You make my high school look like a peaches and cream prep school! How horrible it is to read about such a terrible and descriptive beating. I was so mad Becky didn't stand up for the girl...and then to nearly kill her! Is there any going back now? She is just as bad as the rest of them, maybe worse.

This story stresses me out majorly but it is very well written and I"ll be back for Chapter 7, so take that as a compliment :)



Author's Response:

No - there's no going back for Becky now. ;) I just want to make it clear - none of this stuff has happened to me or happened at my school!! I have simply used things I have heard about and my disturbing imagination!!

I'm glad you're coming back for chapter seven! It's in the queue now! :D

~Evie




Blood on Your Hands
Reviewer: sierraquill1715 (Signed)
04/01/08 - 11:08 am
Hey... that was good--- !

Author's Response: Thanks



Orange Light
Reviewer: sierraquill1715 (Signed)
04/01/08 - 10:53 am
Hey... I like the descriptions =)

Author's Response: Thank you, I like writing descriptions. :)



Auditions
Reviewer: thecrimsonwhisperer (Signed)
08/10/07 - 05:15 pm

lol, frustrating in a I want to keep reading so this conflict within myself will be resolved way.



Author's Response:

heh hehe - that's okay then. ;) I'm having a bit of writers block with the next chapter at the moment, but I have a one-shot in the queue, and I also have a humour one-shot written, but I'm not sure wether I'll submit it or not, because I've NEVER attempted it. Nevertheless, I will try and get it up ASAP. :)

~Evie



Author's Response: EDIT: Heh heh - scratch that, the one-shot's just been accepted. :D



Them
Reviewer: thecrimsonwhisperer (Signed)
08/10/07 - 02:36 pm
I enjoy this story so far, it's frustrating to read but also very entrancing...very "Mean Girls"-esq. I hope we see more of this girl soon, I like her. (I mean really, I need someone to not hate). Good work!

Author's Response:

How's it frustrating? >.< Is it frustrating in a good way or bad way?!

Keep reading! Next chapter being written! :D

~Evie




The Box Office
Reviewer: thecrimsonwhisperer (Signed)
08/10/07 - 02:24 pm

What awful awful people...how could she possible stand being with them? The worst part is I know people who would do terrible thing like that...

I should let you know I was supposed to be doing homework but am now addicted to your story. Ta!



Author's Response:

So do I - in fact, every character in this is actually based on someone I know.

Glad you like it! :D

~Evie




Orange Light
Reviewer: MaiaMadness (Signed)
13/09/07 - 08:15 pm

This is good. I admit I can relate to a certain degree. I was never popular, so I tried to be like the cool girls. That was when I was about 13, though, and it wasn't until I stopped trying and just tried to be myself that I finally got the respect I had yearned for. And when they called me a geek because I read comic books and was stuffed full of useless information about things like cheese and astrophysics, I'd laugh and feel proud.

Sorry abou that. Anyway, I really like the story, and I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next. Hope you update soon! :)



Author's Response:

Thank you! :D

People call me a geek too, but more because I can actually read than because I know stuff about astrophysics. ;-)

~Evie




The Box Office
Reviewer: LadyMortis (Signed)
16/08/07 - 07:56 pm
I am angry... So very angry with Becky for being so weak and poor Amy. This was a really good chapter. Can't wait to read more

Author's Response:

Thank you! Yes, Becky is a bit weak, isn't she?

~Evie




Vandals
Reviewer: LadyMortis (Signed)
08/08/07 - 10:56 pm

okay, this is already getting out of hand and Becky is in way over her head :D Good job

Lady M



Author's Response:

Yup, she is - and the main plot has barely started yet!

~Evie




Orange Light
Reviewer: LadyMortis (Signed)
08/08/07 - 10:50 pm

oooooh... this sounds interesting. I am really looking forward to more

Lady M



Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm glad it's interesting. ;)

~Evie




Auditions
Reviewer: Celtic_Jewel (Signed)
27/07/07 - 04:01 pm

Hi Evie. Great story! What kind of trouble is Mike planning... :D 

-Ema



Author's Response:

thank you!!! :D

~Evie




Auditions
Reviewer: Lady Apostrophe (Signed)
26/07/07 - 05:27 pm

First of all, I enjoyed reading this first chapter just because I'm from America, and I think it's so cool to read about a teenage girl who lives in another country. I'm constantly looking for things outside of my culture, simply because I live it every day, so this was so interesting to me.

But at the same time, even though I don't live in England, nor have I hardly any experience with normal English teenage life, LOL, I still felt like I was at my own school. You made the characters and situations so relatable. I've known people like Meg, people like Amy, people like the "chavs," and it's like Becky is an embodiment of so many of the opinions teenagers have of each other and high school life.

Great start!



Author's Response:

Oh, wow, thank you! That is just the reaction I want out of people! :) I'm glad you liked it, next chapter will be up soon.

~Evie




Them
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