You submitted this as a romance and that doesn't really seem right, it's so much bigger than that. But then again nothing is bigger than love so maybe it is a romance, then again the thought occurs to me she is merely romancing herself, so I think it actually is bigger than romance, a real love story.
I adore that her name is Hope...I have a friend name Hope and her spirit reflects her name everyday. While this Hope does that in a different way she does whatever she can to make sure she has Hope and Love and Faith. I think it was very appropriate.
It was very hard to accept that Keiran was not real because he was so lovely but just figment of her imagination of her need to keep believing.
I also like your historical reference to WWII, I adore historical fiction and while it was heartwrenching as all WWII fiction is it was the perfect place to set this story and Hope's Utopia.
I have one nitpick while very minor and based entirely on preference, I'd still thought I'd mention it.
It was as if time had stopped and all I could do was stare at that face and wonder how the hell this could have been happening.
I think the use of "hell" in this sentence disrupts the flow of your words and that sentence would be more effective without it.
This was a well done story, and very deserving winner of the challenge.
Thank you so much for taking the time to review my story. I am very happy that you appreciated the writing and, I had actually had no idea that I won the challenge until I got your review. Again, thank you so much for the wonderful review
I didn’t expect the story to be about something as ugly as war. It reminded me of those recount, and especially of a book I read of a girl in Saudia Arabia. Very good, that description about the deaths. Very realistic.“This is actually a fantasy world which you have created.” Keiran said. Brief slip-up there, the period should be a comma. “it is not the age in years that makes one a sage but the age of mind.” And there, even though it’s on the same line of dialogue as her, I think it should be a capital I. /pedantic.
Quite a different story. I did think that the eloquence was lost from the first part of her journey, in the part about her being pregnant, and perhaps the start truthfulness of what you were saying was fading a little from Keiran’s world, but other than that it was an… experienced story. I liked the insight, and the contemplation of Love, and the scene that was developed from it. The crying people are a beautiful image.
Author's Response: Lurid, I appreciate you review and your constructive crticisms. I am glad you liked it because to be honest, I thought I may have overdone it a bit when all this bad stuff was happening to her. Again, though, thank you for tthe wonderful review.
I don't really know what to say except, this was an awesome story. My throat was constricted through the whole thing. BRAVO!
Author's Response: I am glad you enjoyed it :)
Wow, I love this fic - I really like the description, and the powerful words. I thought it was so sad when she lost her baby! :(
It's a really dark fic, but I really enjoyed it, and would love to read more.
Author's Response: I am glad you enjoed it and I appreciate the review