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Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
18/08/07 - 01:18 pm

I thought thisflowed really well,it was a beautifulpiece of work.

I'm a history geek and so anything historical interests me, but this fic really drew me in.

It's very tragic and sad, but also very hopeful and inspiring as well, which is always good to see. :)

~Evie




The Secret Wedding
Reviewer: Mariana (Signed)
21/02/07 - 09:53 pm

This was beautiful, both tragic and hopeful.  The ending was especially poignant, knowing that Gaius was going to his probable death, and then that Valentine was doomed as well.  And your writing is just... flawless.  The language is lovely and it flows effortlessly.  The arguments against Claudius's edict were well-presented, too.  Sometimes when an author wants to write an argument against an idea, it comes out school-essayish, but this flowed well with the narrative.  I have just two small concrits.  Like most other Christian churches of the time  The "of the time" part took me out of the story briefly, making me remember that I'm in their future.  I think just "Like most Christian churches" would suffice, and the reader would infer that it's referring to that time.  Also, (this is the first time I get to use my one semester of college Latin!), his name would be Valentinius when speaking about him and Valentini when speaking directly to him, like Brutus and "Et tu, Brute?" but with an i.  (But if you don't want to get that pedantic, I would recommend just using either Valentine or Valentinius.)  But those are minor points.  All in all, this was a beautiful story, which I'm sure would have won if you'd been eligible for the challenge!  




The Secret Wedding
Reviewer: Locke (Anonymous)
15/02/07 - 05:38 pm
Short, Sweet and yet relatively sad.

I look forward to more from you. 



The Secret Wedding
Reviewer: Naga (Signed)
15/02/07 - 03:09 pm

Have I said yet how wonderful this fiction is?  Here I go again:

 First, I can tell you put effort into this piece.  I, contrarily, pull stories out of my butt too often.  I appreciate the history, and really, you touch a spot of my heart with including history at all. 

I loved the subtle reminders of context, about Christian 'churches', about the emporer.  The dress and the ceremony itself was all researched and felt very real.  (I watch the History channel a lot, and truthfully, I saw a movie of this in my mind's eye). 

I would say, as a critique, that you could have gone further with this story.  It was very nicely packed up, but I think you could have infused more fiction into the fiction.  If that makes sense?  Perhaps it's the drama I like, but I wouldn't have minded seeing Val's bastard child. >.>

 If you could win the challenge, I'd vote for you. >.>



Author's Response: Well, Lexie...the story isn't finished yet, lol!  Though I can safely say that there will be no bastard children.  I'm currently planning 2-3 more short chapters before the end of this work.



The Secret Wedding
Reviewer: Calamur (Signed)
15/02/07 - 12:39 pm
Very interesting story! So different from what you usually write in ff, which is why I like it a lot. Great work


The Secret Wedding
Reviewer: wishmaster1972 (Signed)
15/02/07 - 11:51 am

I really enjoed this a lot.  It's a sad, wonderful story and I can't wait to read the rest of it.  The descriptions are poignant and gave me a clear picture.

 

Well done 




The Secret Wedding
Reviewer: LadyMortis (Signed)
15/02/07 - 12:01 am

I have heard of the story of St. Valentine andI think you did an excellent job with this Oracle *whispers* I told you uou would.

Awesome job




The Secret Wedding
Reviewer: Ham (Signed)
14/02/07 - 10:41 pm

I loved the description and the setting. Also the plot is marvellous and the description vivid.

It also seems evident that you've done a lot of background research. I am very impressed with that.




The Secret Wedding
Reviewer: pianochic1703 (Signed)
14/02/07 - 10:39 pm
Beautifully written. I love it! I can't wait for the next chapter. Update soon!



The Secret Wedding
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