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Reviewer: apollo13 (Signed)
24/08/07 - 11:01 am

Awww! Kid's can be so cruel! That's really cute and sad at the same time. The poor little girl! I loved your style of writing in this, it made it clear that they were young children without actually saying, they were six, they were seven, ectr.

It reminded me a lot of when I was a little girl and I said I was in love with a boy in my class. LOL! They all laughed and I was so embarressed!

Wonderful story!

~Evie




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Reviewer: Rebel Angel (Signed)
21/08/07 - 05:38 pm

I have to agree with everyone else: It was a wonderfully written story. So sweet and charming. I do feel sorry for the little girl, though. Children can be cruel, can't they?

 Anyways, can't wait for you to write another story. Hopefully one as brilliant as this. 




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Reviewer: Fatima (Signed)
18/02/07 - 03:18 am
This was AMAZING!  I think you managed to capture all of the wonderful nuances of being that young and that innocent.  I also felt that the heartbreak at the end was so striking and poignant.  Children can be cruel to one another, but not so much as when they're in front of other friends.  This was just brilliant!


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Reviewer: Naga (Signed)
15/02/07 - 03:14 pm

I LOVED this story!  It's so innocent and sweet.  Honestly, I would believe you have a little girl of your own with this writing.  The wording was chosen carefully to be sure it sounded like it was coming from a young mind, and I think it really brought the reader in.  I remembered the days when I would play all day, and things like coloring in the lines mattered to me.

 I just think this story is brilliant.  Thanks for it!




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Reviewer: LadyMortis (Signed)
15/02/07 - 01:47 pm

awww. What a sad story... I f I wasn't at school with alot of people I might of cried.

:( Poor girl... All these bad Valentine's Days are making me depressed... and yet off I go to read some more.

Good job

 




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Reviewer: Oracle (Anonymous)
15/02/07 - 12:28 pm

Oooh!  I love this story!  It's so sweet...her preparations for his special Valentine's Day present, her memories of their times together as well as their "wedding" - it was all very well done.

The end was so sad!  Perhaps because most women can remember an experience like that as a little girl...perhaps because you wrote her heartbreak so well.

I'm very impressed!  Good luck in the challenge!     




Chapter 1
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