On the forums there is a thread to request a beta, we have several really good ones available.  Just fill out the form and someone will get back with you. 

I like what you have done with your own voice in this chapter but the parts where you are going off what Meyers wrote are very rushed.  Of course those of us who have read the series know what imprinting is but you should probably add a little bit more explanation in this chapter since it is lending itseelf to that.  You set it up to read like she didn't know what it was then suddenly she new exactly what it was without any further explanation from Sam.  YOu might want to go back and add a paragraph or two.  If you don't already have a beta you might want to get one, they at least are someone to bounce ideas off of and show you where the little holes in your story are, even the best authors have editors.  When you write outside of Meyers and use your own voice the writing is good and the story starts to develop as your own.  Keep going, the more you get away from the stuff we all know the better your story will become. 

~Kristy

While WT did start as an HP fanfic site we have expanded to the other fandoms so don't sell yourself short.  If you get a good hook (like yiou last line) then you will pull the raders in by word of mouth.  Jump on the forms and make some friends and spread the word about your story and that will also bring in more readers.

I like the way you have started this out but it is a tiny bit too much like the actual story.  You did however to add enough little details to make it your own. I am interested in seeing where you take this story so I will keep watching for the updates.

~Kristy

An interesting start. I look forward to seeing where this will go.  :)

Seems like a good start to an Alternate Universe story.  Am I to assume that Jacob is imprinting on Bella?  I'll be interested to see where you take this.