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Reviewer: Ferdinand (Anonymous)
12/13/2007 10:44 pm
Was this betaed?  It is an interesting premise.  It has some nice sweetness too, but it misuses then for than,  it has other small errors, and it lacks showing not telling.  It moves too quickly to the climax without enough detail and suspense.

Author's Response: Thanks for the suggestions and for reviewing my story.

Chapter 1
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