This story looks kind of familiar - I remember beta reading this back in April. I have to say, it's looking pretty good now. I always liked the way you described things as well as the dialogue that you write for all of your characters. Also, send my regards to your new beta reader!
Author's Response: Gee, thanks! God that was reeking with corniness. West Side Story moment, I guess. In this epithonie of sorts I decided that it would be best to rewrite the whole wordy mess. I'll send your regards to my beta.