Reviews For Checkmate!

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Reviewer: LOTRandHPnut (Signed)
08/01/2007 01:57 am
I must say, your writing and usage of words is quite sophisticated. However, I think you could use more active verbs and a bit of polishing up regarding grammar. Also, your adjective use was a bit excessive, particularly in the begining paragraph.  Sometimes some bits of description weren't necessary, for example, the last section of this sentence.

“That is barbaric,” Hermoine protested, averting her eyes from the offending scene being preformed before her.

 Honestly, there's a lot of potential here. I loved how you tied back the ending! That part was clever!

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