Wow, that was really powerful! Great job with using the second person point of view, and in present tense, too! It makes it so much more intense, to be experiencing what Harry is experiencing. Poor Harry. You did a good job detailing what was happening to him, it's a very emotional piece. I would only mention that the ending seemed a bit abrupt - another sentence or two might wrap it up a bit more, especially if you connected it to something from the first paragraph. Otherwise, great job! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: thank you so much! i love reviews! i wish more people would leave reviews for my stories. my brain works in mysterious ways, so keep an eye out for a new story!!!