Reviews For The Last Battle

You must login (register) to review.

Reviewer: EmeraldCurse (Signed)
04/05/2006 10:34 pm
I love this ending! Great job!


The Execution
Reviewer: Aestel (Signed)
02/01/2006 05:17 am
Okay, so the cloudy sky really didn't come to anything. Ah well. "Harry looked around. The room seemed empty, apart from the archway and the fluttering veil. " Okay, in this one instance I'd actually ask for a teeny bit more description, only because Harry's in a new place, looking around, and probably hyper-aware, considering he's expecting old moldy voldy to jump out from behind something. On the other hand, I loved this line: "The tattered curtain still fluttered in an invisible breeze, and as he concentrated, he could hear the whispering voices." There's a simple elegance to it that heightens the poignancy of the situation.


The Execution
Reviewer: Aestel (Signed)
02/01/2006 05:09 am
Off the bat, my absolute favorite lines: '“Not on your own, you don’t,” Hermione said, putting a calming hand on his shoulder. “You know I’m the only one who can defeat him!” Harry hissed angrily, bringing the level of his voice down to match that of his friends. “Yeah, mate," said Ron,” But we can help you get there.”' I should confess, I came here to check out your descriptions. I didn't find anything lacking. If you'd stopped to describe the cobwebs in the corridors in the middle of all the tumult, I would have had to hit you over the head with a (foam) bat. But you didn't, so you're safe. The biggest descriptive passage was this one: "As they entered the Great Hall, Professor McGonagall motioned for them all to sit on the floor. All the other houses were already there, but Harry couldn’t help noticing that several of the older Slytherins, Malfoy included, were conspicuous only in their absence. That couldn’t be good, he thought. Above him, the ceiling showed a patchy night sky, and it looked like it was about to rain. Harry looked around at the hall. The House tables were stacked against the walls near the door. They looked ominously like potential barricades." Now I feel this passage could be streamlined a bit, but I'm the queen of pith, so take that with a grain of salt. I love the fact that the tables are stacked against the walls and looking "ominously like barricades" - that hits the reader in the gut. I do wonder why the ceiling was mentioned. I'm acting like a hyper-critical reader right now, but my thought was "all this is going on and Harry takes time to check on the weather? Is this foreshadowing of something?" And now I'm off to Chapter 2 to see...


The Plan
Reviewer: Aaran St Vines (Signed)
09/10/2005 09:26 am
Final - The idea that this could happen in some manner - Harry having to sacrifice himself to make the end of Voldemort perminent - is very upsetting. It could not happen if the original story, a children's story, had kept to that approach. Unfortunately, this is all too possible, following the AU post-OotP story line or the HBP story line. Terribly sad, but well written and executed.


The Execution
Reviewer: Aaran St Vines (Signed)
09/10/2005 09:17 am
Ch1 - Fascinating set up. Pre-HBP I imagined this would be the way it would happen. I think I still wish it were this way. I know I want the DA to have continued. Well written. I look forward to the next chapter with great anticipation and not a little dread.


The Plan
Reviewer: Greg (Signed)
06/29/2005 11:59 am
Well, I think there is a bit of history behind that we are not aware of, but I look forward to the last battle, and what will be I hope a nice ending with a lot of H/G fluff. Keep going.

Author's Response: Fluff? Er...sorry! None of that here...though I do have a H/G fluff piece I'm thinking of lengthening and posting.



The Plan
Reviewer: Dana (Anonymous)
06/28/2005 08:23 pm
Wow, that was really, really good. I can't wait to see an update. It was written very well.

Author's Response: Update soon, promise! It's only two chapters anyway, but there's a potential sequel (after HBP comes out!)



The Plan
You must login (register) to review.