Reviews For Pasts and Futures

You must login (register) to review.

Reviewer: Wolfs_Scream (Signed)
06/07/2007 06:24 pm
Well done; I especially admire your portrayal of Arthur.


Minister's Mission
Reviewer: ravenking (Signed)
05/31/2007 11:54 am
great story. Love Orion's character.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much.

Sorry Everyone for the delay on the next chapter, but it is with my beta right now and I will post it as soon as its returned! :)




Witches' Night In
Reviewer: Wolfs_Scream (Signed)
05/24/2007 09:36 pm
Thanks for the horizontal rules; they help.

Hmmm... a heavy golden locket that won't open, eh? That sounds familiar..... :-}

Interesting flashbacks & interactions, there. I suppose it's not all that surprising that Ginny would volunteer to be on a team playing against Harry. I was a bit surprised that Draco preferred playing Beater, especially with both of the Weasley twins present, but thanks for explaining why he didn't play Seeker. (And a team that purposely keeps female players off merely because of their sex deserves its fate -- I'd expect that a smaller frame & less body mass (on average) could be an asset, especially for a Chaser -- probably a Seeker, too.)

(Still had a few typos; nothing too hideous, but something for which to watch while editing.)



Witches' Night In
Reviewer: Wolfs_Scream (Signed)
05/20/2007 10:19 pm
Good chapter, but there were a couple of typos or homonym substitutions (using "passed" instead of "past" was one of the latter). And I think it would help to have a visual cue (such as extra vertical whitespace, a horizontal rule, or something of that nature) for a scene change: the transition from the gang heading back from Azkegan to their arrival was a bit ... sudden. :-}

The casualties on the Light side were somewhat disheartening; that said, it's rather more believable that there will be losses on both sides.

Crabbe & Goyle (jr.) seem remarkably thick-headed, which makes it rather more surprising that Draco refers to Teigra (in conversation with them) in a manner that appears to indicate that they know who she is -- or, at least, something about what relationship a person of that name has to Draco. (It's also rather odd that most of the recruited DEs from Slytherin are referred to by surname, save Parkinson.)

So Harry begins to compare Draco's situation with Tiegra (who is, I believe, a "half-blood," rather than a "half-breed") to his own with Ginny. It's a start.... Though Draco certainly doesn't seem eager to facilitate the process. :-}

Author's Response:

Thanks again for the review. They are very helpful. I took your advice and added a horizontal rule to all of the chapters for asy reading and I fixed some of the typos (I don't know how my beta keeps missing them).

As for the casualties- you can't have a war with out death. Its impossible and I must admit, I will be brutal about who lives and who dies. (I have a list).

Crabbe and Goyle I definately think are thick-headed and that is why I see Draco confiding in them about certain things. Yes, they do know about Teeg, but they do not know her full story. It's similar to Chamber of Secrets where Draco confinds in Crabbe and Goyle that his family has a secret chamber under their drawing room floor, but he doesn't go into detail of what exactly is in it. Draco is the type of person who likes to brag about such things, but he knows that Crabbe and Goyle are too thick to let his secrets out.

Once again we see similarities between Draco and Harry when it comes to Teeg and Ginny, however, as you will see, they are very different.

As for Teigra's secret... I'm actually surprised no one has figured it out yet. I thought I left some pretty good clues. However, i will play an important role in future chapters. 




Fortress
Reviewer: Wolfs_Scream (Signed)
05/17/2007 02:24 pm
Ah, so we don't (yet?)get to findout howRon voted, eh? But Draco's defense appears to have been sufficient.

Hmmm... for the Azkeban group, Harry, Charlie, and Draco are known to be better-than-average at flying on a broom.. Wonder if Harry & Draco will have an opportunity to warm up to each other -- and if so, whether or not they'll make constructive use of it...

I'd guess it's no coincidence that the "informers" are each female and non-Aurors.

Seems rather not-very-clever for Ron & Harry to have been indulging in Firewhiskey. It certainly can't help them maintain Constant Vigilance! :-}

(Oh: in describing the special room, I think you meant "Illusion" instead of "Allusion.")

Author's Response:

Thanx again for your review. I love the input. Thanx for pointing out the "Allusion" mistake, I did fix it.

The next chapter is with my beta at the moment and I might be making a few changes to it because I'm not sure about how I wrote a few parts, so it will be up within the next few days.

Harry and Draco do have a few moments together in the next chapter, but you'll have to wait to see how it turns out.




Summoned
Reviewer: Wolfs_Scream (Signed)
05/16/2007 02:42 pm
Sorry for not reviewing earlier; just encountered your story yesterday.

Narrative quality & storyline are each excellent; the "backstory" for the Dumbledore/Snape/Malfoy relationships is almost plausible -- and makes a great deal more sense than a lot of other things I've read. :-}

The trial itself seemed a bit peculiar on a couple of accounts: first, that the Order was putting someone on trial at all -- where I live, that sort of thing is called a "kangaroo court"; second, that the defense would present first. On the latter point, I'd expect that the prosecution (vs. "Offense") would need to start, in large part because they're the ones who need to prove that one or more offenses were committed, so they have the burden to state what those offenses are (which I didn't recall seeing being mentioned, by the way) and what they hope to prove about the defendant's involvement -- or at least, culpability, in the commission of those offenses. Oh: and "innocent" isn't a verdict for criminal trials, at least in the US (maybe British Wizarding law is different): It's "guilty" (or certain equivalents, such as "no lo contendre") or "not guilty."

That said, I'm not a writer, myself, so please take anything I scribble here with an appropriately-sized "grain of salt."

As for Ron... I expect he's letting his prejudices get in the way. Indeed, I'd be not at all surprised if his was the only "guilty" vote

I notice, too, that Draco is doing things with respect to Teeg that appear to be echoes of what Harry did with respect to Ginny. Do you suppose that Harry might come to realize that, now that he (Harry) has had greater exposure to what really has been going on in Draco's life? Might this help catalyze an Epiphany? :-}

Speaking (well...) of all of this, we've not heard much from Ginny, though she's been aware of at least some of what's been going on. Seems to me that she might also be able to relate to Teeg to a certain extent.... :-)

I think it would be fairly cool if Harry & Draco realize that they have a lot more than either would care to admit (at first) in common, that each has a common goal (elimination of Tom from the scene), and that each is stronger with their ladies close by. A brighter-than average fellow once said something to the effect that the best way to destroy an enemy is to turn him into a friend..... :-)

Hmmm... Orion also knows about the Horcruxes, too...

Author's Response:

Wow I am extreamly impressed by your understanding of the fic. I do have three more chapters already written that I have yet to post and I must admit that some things you mention do appear within those chapters.

Ginny, does have a major part in this story, I just have yet to come to it. You will be seeing her within the next few chapters, I promise.

As for the trial, the Ministry is not doing very well at the moment, (which you will here more of in later chapters) and we have no idea how the Order would conduct such a trial so I looked to it as Arthur trying to conduct a "muggle trial" so of course there will be a lot of mistakes. Plus, you do not see all of the trial, only bits and pieces that Ron actually pays attention to.

Thank you so much for your review. I hope to hear more of your imput for future chapters, and I am so glad you liked my fic :)




Trial
Reviewer: Buttamellow (Signed)
05/15/2007 09:45 am
Another amazing chapter.  I was quite intrigued by your idea that Orion would know about the Horcruxes and be working on them as well.  I also greatly enjoyed your flashback scenes as they seemed to fit in so well.  I could actually see something along those lines happening.  It really makes you feel for Draco.  Wonderful job!


Innocence
Reviewer: Buttamellow (Signed)
05/15/2007 08:31 am
Another amazing chapter.  I particularly liked Ron's dream sequence.  It was hilarious.  All of Ron's dreams came true.  *grins*  Hmm...I wonder what Ron wrote.  Great work!  I can't wait to see what happens next.


Trial
Reviewer: Buttamellow (Signed)
05/10/2007 09:38 pm

Oh, I'm so antsy waiting for another chapter!  Update soon. 

PS: Congrats on the rec for the month of May!  You deserve it! *winks*



Author's Response:

Thank so much. I'm so excited. I will be updating soon. I'm just waiting for my chapter to be returned from my beta. :)




Orion
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
04/28/2007 09:24 am

I very much like your original characters, especially Teeg.  And the setting and relationships are novel.  Grandfather Dumbledore--I like the sound of that.

You also make Draco's story about D's death very plausible.  You've thought it out.  I especially like Montague's part in the plot, that he sometimes could hear voices from Borgin and Burkes.

The love scene is tender and (thanks) not too graphic.



Author's Response: Thank you so much. I try to stay as cannon as possible but i do like to tie in some creative twists as well.

I'm glad you like it.




Innocence
You must login (register) to review.