You must login (register) to review.

Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
02/17/2007 10:50 pm

Ouch! I have to take exception to that last crack of Ron's.  What? Is Eliza under an Imperius curse? (Just joking.)

You seem to be trying out some new adverbs.  'Buoyantly' (for a stressed person) don't seem to quite fit, but the others really add to the description.



Author's Response:

You know, you can write the rest of the story yourself if you want since I put it in an open series. I originally wrote this and the other installment for FictionAlley some time ago, but I never got around to finishing this one. Basically, I decided to put them here and see what other people would come up with since it looked like I wouldn't get around to finishing it anyway.




Chapter 4
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
02/17/2007 10:41 pm

Hmmm...an interesting turnabout.  First he's nice as can be, then he turns a bit narsty.  What's going to happen?

And (tee-hee) there's the laughs again--I just love the way you've made Ron fairly clueless.  You've captured the bro/sis relationship very well.




Chapter 3
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
02/17/2007 10:38 pm

I like your explanation of why Dumbledore is using two underage mages for the task--fairly plausible--and sounds like a fitting task to start them off as members of the Order. 

And the humor, of course, is enjoyable.  Especially the 'Olly, and the crack about broomsticks in downtown London.




Chapter 2
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
02/17/2007 10:32 pm
Great beginning.  You set the stage with minimal verbiage, and a nice dose of smart-mouth.  I look forward to more.


Chapter 1
You must login (register) to review.