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Reviewer: Ham (Anonymous)
10/15/2006 05:54 am

The thing I appreciated most about the fic was the originality. You dared to do something different.

I personally feel you did a good job and set a new level of quality for your writing. But i believe that you are merely scrathing the tip of your potential. You have potential to become better still.

One thing you need to still work on is description. And by that i also mean describing things pleasantly so that it leaves a vivid sketch in the readers mind.

I thought that this fic was a bit rushed... i would have liked to see more into the Harry-Katie relationship. Till the end I couldn't figure out if they had made the transition from friends to lovers. I also would have liked to find out why Harry felt he had to commit suicide.

The power of love is a life giving force... it does not allow any thoughts of suicide.. so I was disappointed at that angle.




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Reviewer: Pianochic1703 (Signed)
09/23/2006 07:38 pm
*wipes away a tear* That was a really sweet fic, JD. Wonderfully written!


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Reviewer: Lunatica (Anonymous)
09/20/2006 05:33 pm
Hi, Cheryl78 sent the url of your fic to me, and I'm glad she did :) This story is def one of the more original I've read so far. Very in depth, also very believable, and I love great original characters like Jonathan. Your writing style is pleasant too, I hope to read more soon!


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Reviewer: Cheryl78 (Anonymous)
09/18/2006 04:07 pm
Apart from the fact that you nearly killed off half of the main chearacters, I must say that I loved this story. The ship is rather unusual, as it is the main theme as well. The way Harry interacts with that boy is simply wonderful, and it bears a very special meaning within. This story is really full of emotions, and none too ordinary. Very well written!


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Reviewer: Lionz_4_the_Cup (Signed)
09/15/2006 03:56 pm
That was written really well. The emotions were awesome. I know everyone else said that, but it's true. :) Great job. i loved it. :)



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Reviewer: Jess (Anonymous)
09/10/2006 02:46 pm
Jay, this was a very well written story.  I felt all the emotions and I almost cried...I think it is a really good story if I can get that connected to the characters.


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Reviewer: ladylarna (Signed)
09/04/2006 03:17 pm

I'll try not to stray too heavily into beta-mode while writing this review, but let me first say that you had some extreme exclamation point abuse in the first half of this story... they should be used sparingly. ;)

That said, this was really interesting and very well developed. There were times this could have used a few more lines here and there for flow and setting changes, but all in all you told your story very well. I'm glad you chose to do this as a oneshot and not a chaptered affair... it felt very natural like this, with the exception of the very beginning which felt apart from the rest of the story.

You did a fantastic job of conveying the emotions throughout the story, especially in the second half. Good writing, just needed some polish.

You really are getting so much better! You were right, this is one of the best things you've written.




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Reviewer: XxXCrookshanksXxXP3 (Anonymous)
09/03/2006 03:04 pm
Awww, how sad was that, it made me cry. :( But it was great.


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Reviewer: Cyborg (Signed)
09/03/2006 02:53 pm

Great story! Really made me sad, and I truly hope JKR doesn't kill off Harry like some people speculate she might, just so no one asks her, "What happens to Harry?" 

But I digress. Great stuff, and I suggest making the dialogue a bit more natural in some places. Loved it! 

 



Author's Response: Thanks a ton! I hope that Harry survives the war too, but this fic demanded the end result. I also appreciate your constructive criticism and hope to improve on it



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