You must login (register) to review.

Reviewer: Jayiin (Signed)
03/16/2007 05:41 pm
I'm not sure I like your take on Harry, but this is interesting enough so far.

Author's Response:   I'm only making Harry how he was in OOTP X2, he has a bad attitude in this story, but not entirely without reason. Thanks so much for the review.



Chapter 3: The Burrow
Reviewer: Jayiin (Signed)
03/16/2007 03:06 pm

This is the first Harry/Cho fic I've ever perused.  Cho is not my favorite character, but I'd like to see what you have planned for her.

 

Harry's relationship with the Dursleys is interesting here; I've never seen quite this take on it.  Kudos! 



Author's Response:

Thanks so much for the review, I'm very greatful. Well Harry is fed up with the Dursleys, and he is going to be a bit of an arse to people following his attitude in OOTP, but don't worry, he's not going to be to much of one in the end. Cho is my favorite character, and there was another perspective in her relationship with Harry, really I haven't changed her character, just added situations for her, and Harry to deal with. Thanks again for the review, I hope to read more soon,

     Sincerely,

        Highice007




Chapter 1: Last Night on Privet Drive
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
12/28/2006 09:35 am

Love the names of the books on Harry's list--and the authors.

Also the idea for the *Wizarding Trivia* game--which Hermione naturally wins.

Not too surprising that Fudge committed suicide--he always was a great coward.

Humor's great too.  LOL at:

"forcing fine, decent citizens like Lucius Malfoy to join *terrorist groups* like the Death Eaters.”

"We practically had to drag him [Mr. Weasley] out of every shop to give the storekeepers some relief from all the questions. He seemed really sad every time we passed a car dealership.”

Love the banter between Ron and Hermione about Luna.  And Luna's letter sounds just the way she talks: words just tumbling helter-skelter out of her mouth, one topic after another.

Nice subtlety in Hermione's description of Luna.  It reveals a lot more about Hermione than about Luna.

Harry and Ron's bedtime conversation is very realistic.  As I say, you have an ear for dialogue, and Harry and Ron's relationship and personalities come out in this scene.

And ouch--what a come-back from Harry to Ron about Cho: "'I’ve got bigger problems than her. I’ve got bigger problems than anyone,' he said resentfully."

I like Mad-Eye's advice to Harry, and it seems perfectly natural that Harry, at this point, would brush him off.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the complaments about the books, I had to think hard on that. I played trivial persuit for a while, and it was pretty fun, Since there is no tellivision in the wizarding world, I thought that they would do something like board games.

   Well I don't really consider suicide cowardly, I was going for more of Fudge doing the honerable thing after screwing up, and letting Voldermort get more powerful, but to an extent Dumbledore can also take some of the credit for that for not pulling Harry out of the Tri-Wizard tournament. But anyway, I watch a lot of Japanese movies, and in Japanese culture still today, suicide is considered an hounerable way to make up for a mistake.

       About Harry's come back at Cho, it's all about perspectives. Harry goes through things that Cho doesn't know about, but than so does she, have the same situation. As much as I love JK's work, the one complaint I have is that we only get Harry's perspective, he doesn't know what others are going through, unless they tell him there feelings. In this story Harry doesn't know that Cho's mum has cancer, or what she did the day before, or anything. One think that I hope JK does in her next series of whatever she writes about is write from more perspectives. Anyway, sorry for rambling, and thinks soo much for the review, and all the hard work that you do beta reading. Your Top of cool!:)




Chapter 3: The Burrow
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
12/28/2006 09:07 am

This too is very different from what I was expecting.  It is hard to believe that Dumbledore wouldn't show up for Sirius's funeral--he must be tied up--literally--somewhere. I hope Harry finds out what he was doing at the time (and that we are allowed to eavesdrop on the conversation.) 

I feel Lupin's grief, and the way he treats harry throughout the piece is very like the Lupin of the original books.

Harry's response to all this seems very natural to me.  He's still being kept out of the loop in a lot of things: the reading of the will, the whereabouts of Dumbledore, and the fact that Sirius' body is to be cremated.  I think any young person would think he was being treated like a child and would find it frustrating--especially one who has shouldered adult responsibilities for a long time the way Harry has.



Author's Response:

Thanks for understanding, Dumbledore does have a good reason for not being there, but I don't know if I will go into too great a detail later on. It's just that sometimes you really want to be some place, but you feel heavy responsibilitys to your duity and commitment to other things, or people. I'm glad that I can keep suprising you.

         Thanks so much for reviewing.:)

        Oh, I also was trying to keep the characters as close as possible to how they were in OOTP, so Harry is going to be a bit of an arse at times, but he is really a good guy.




Chapter 2 The Funeral of Sirius Black
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
12/28/2006 08:48 am

Hi, Wayne!  As you know, I was first introduced to this story beta-ing some of the later chapters.   I confess I had a bad feeling--even though your plot was sound--that this was just one more stock Harry-as-bully story with nothing to back up the changes in his personality.  But in this first chapter, you've laid a solid foundation for his transient self-pity and nastiness.   

Throughout the piece, you remind us that he's still basically a good kid as he mourns his parents, Cedric , and Sirius.  He's also rmemmbers his boundaries, knowing that the Order would not approve of his bullying of the Dursleys. 

But he's still just a kid, who can fall into the same traps of pride and abuse of power we are all tempted with.

His rage at Voldemort is almost palpable here.  His 'I said get out' flung at Vernon Dursley gave me chills.   You have a good ear for dialogue--the way people really talk--here.

I had a thought that the words: "But the Dursleys didn’t know that, and what they didn’t know couldn’t hurt *them*" didn't quite make sense, but that if you substituted the word 'him' for 'them' (meaning Harry), it might.  (Just a thought.  You know I can't ever get out of beta-ing mode completely.)

Thanks for a great start!  



Author's Response:

I was kind of going with the sarcasim against the tradition. When Harry thinks, "What they don't know can't hurt them, he is being sarcastic to himself.

   Thanks for the complaments and review:)




Chapter 1: Last Night on Privet Drive
Reviewer: Calamur (Signed)
10/11/2006 01:08 pm

You wrote this chapter very well. clearly, the best of the lot. :)/ can't wait to read more

 



Author's Response:      Thank you very much for the complment, and the review. Stay tuned, there is more to come, with a very big suprise twist for chapter ten;)



Chapter 8: Misinterpretation
Reviewer: Calamur (Signed)
09/25/2006 10:09 am
(You should put a space between paragraphs – it just makes it much easier to read)... I think you forgot to delete that part of what your beta said. Harry in my opinion hates attention, he might have been a prat in OoTP, but publicity is something he always hated, but I suppose it's a part of the plan you have ahead

Author's Response:

Yes, your right, he has always hated attention, but aftet how so many people treated him in OOTP, this year he will welcome it as an alternative to being considered a dangerous lunitic again.

    Thanks so much for the review!:)




The Harry Potter
Reviewer: Calamur (Signed)
09/24/2006 03:15 am
You've written the story well! I was a bit wary about the development of Cho as you progressed, but you've done a very good job

Author's Response:    Thanks again for the review. I really wanted to give an idea of what Cho's life at home might be like. And I wanted to covey how her relationship might have gone with Marietta. You'll here more from Marietta later.



Chapter 6: Squib in the family
Reviewer: Calamur (Signed)
09/24/2006 03:05 am
Interesting chapter! You actually feel bad for Cho in this one 

Author's Response:

Thanks again for the review. I think that a lot of people forget to try and see things from the perspective of other characters in the book, since they are only written from Harry's perspective. 

            Cho was always nice to Harry, even when he wasn't popular, but she was going through emotional tramma, so I always feel bad for her in OOTP.




Chapter 4: The Reflections of Cho Chang
Reviewer: Calamur (Signed)
09/24/2006 02:27 am
Interesting, you made Harry pretty OOC here, but to each their own. A good chapter

Author's Response:      Thanks for the review, but as you'll see in future chapters, I was continuing his being a bit of an arse, like he was in OOTP. Like How he was always biting everyones head off. Ron, Cho, Hermione. Don't get me wrong, I like Harry, but he wasn't exactly at his best in that book.



Chapter 2 The Funeral of Sirius Black
You must login (register) to review.