Reviews For He's Gone

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Reviewer: Sonicdale (Anonymous)
09/13/2006 12:20 am

Well.

Several punctuation errors mar this story. A bit of editing would have made it flow much better.

I liked the idea of a magic nullifying field. And Moldy getting his end like that was very different. I liked that.

Some of the dialogue was jumpy - it seemed to change directions without any transition. Some narration/description of what was transpiring would be better. Also there were a couple of 'out of the blue' things that didn't make sense: The food basket that Ron took from his mother ... where did that come from?

In all a good one shot. Harry's voice started to grate on me - a whiney Harry doesn't sit well if he sounds like my 2 year old - but at the end you pulled it out.

 

Good work. 




He's Gone
Reviewer: LunaMoon224 (Signed)
08/20/2006 09:57 pm

Okay, finally reviewing... I'll get around to reviewing your other stuff later. x.x Sorry!

Anyway, I liked this. Yeah, Harry was very much like a little kid, but it was a nice idea. Especially the twist you have with the magic. Great job! :D



Author's Response: Lol, don't worry about reviwing :) I'm glad you like the story.

Chris



He's Gone
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