This is a fun read, but also thought-provoking. Your characters have depth and direction. I like Lily giving lip-service to the 'strong woman' thing, yet agonizing over a 'throbbing, oily ZIT!!!!'
And I like your Marauders, especially Peter. He's a lot smarter--more the other boys' equal, at least in intelligence. I like that James recognizes his feelings of being left out of the action and placates him by entrusting him with his precious Invisibility Cloak. Shows James to be a little more sensitive than most writers portray him.
You express yourself well. I could just see that Quidditch match with all the Snitches flying around, and the Marauders laughing their arses off under the stands. And a bunch of self-righteous Hufflepuffs and Slytherins arguing their cases with the beleaguered referee. Great idea!
And--oh!--what is Madam Hooch going to do?!! Hell hath no fury like an embarrased witch.