Interesting place to end this chapter...
“Now I’m offended,” teased Sirius “ you see me after a year and the first thing you want to know is if you are dead.”
^^Haha! That was a brilliant line, and it made me happy. Hurrah for Sirius.
Interesting place to end this chapter...
“Now I’m offended,” teased Sirius “ you see me after a year and the first thing you want to know is if you are dead.”
^^Haha! That was a brilliant line, and it made me happy. Hurrah for Sirius.
Whee, battle! The blood spurting totally creeped me out, haha.
I like that Dudley was still kept in character at the beginning of this chapter; that was well done.
Yay Remus/Tonks! And hurrah for Ginny, who made me laugh.
You know, I thought I was the only person who noticed that canon never showed us Harry revealing what happened with priori incantatem, so I'm astrounded and completely thrilled that you not only noticed that, but brought it in as a salient plot point. Bravo, muchly.
*snort* Herm Herm. That's funny.
I loved your characterization and development of Neville here. Again, good chapter but the grammatical problems detract from it's potential greatness.
McGongall's comment on deja vu after Harry's comment made me laugh. That part was great. And capslock Harry! Whee, I do so love him.
The Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia thing kind of threw me for a loop, though... it sort of came out of nowhere.
But oh well... onto the next chapter!
I'm going to continue reading and reviewing, but I figured I'd pause here for comment.
Your writing - plot-wise, idea-wise, content-wise - is great, but the grammar needs a little work (and the formatting... you have a random chunk in bold, which you might want to fix). So that's my advice there, because otherwise this is solid and a quality piece.
Now I'll keep reading! :)
liked that the durselys kinda became nice before they got killed. the beginning of this chapter freaked me out, cuz at first i was just like OMG, what the heck!!!!! but then it was just a dream...wonder what's goin on with malfoy and when theyll start to take a crack at the horcrux.....