Reviews For A Beautiful Mess

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Reviewer: DeborahSu (Signed)
08/27/2006 10:22 pm
Well done!  You're only 14?  You're going to be a real live, paid author someday, young lady!


Author's Response: Yupp, only 14 lol. Thanks so much! That really means a lot to me!



Something New
Reviewer: sophianwin (Anonymous)
05/18/2006 03:18 pm

Beautiful. I loved it. I didn't like the end line though, I think it would've been better without it. Unless you added that she wasn't afraid of the dark anymore...you know what I mean?

 
I think you have the dates mixed up though. Lily has the news of them dying, but then you have Marlene dying on the 12th of September. Maybe I'm just confused...



Author's Response: Thanks and everyone is entitled to their own opinon. Thanks for being honest! Yeah, here's the deal: Marlene and Gideon get together in June. Then Gideon and his brother die about two months later. The news of their death is given by Lily who wouldn't have died for another two months. Then in Sept., Marlene dies. Hope that might have cleared up any date issues. Thanks for the review!



Something New
Reviewer: mugglenet27 (Signed)
03/11/2006 05:59 pm
Very interesting...I think that you wrote this well, despite a few grammar mistakes.  I did enjoy it, though!  :)

Author's Response: Thanks very much! Yes, grammar is not one of my strong points. Happy you enjoyed it (p.s. I love your stories :o) )



Something New
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
03/08/2006 12:08 am
You have a nice sense of pacing. The love scene works just right. You do use some words and expressions inappropriately, but the mistakes didn't spoil the mood for me, though I think you could do with a better beta. (e.g. "...one was sitting on the counter...*their* legs dangling...the other was standing..with *their* head leaning(?) behind *them.*" and "...the silence was imminent(?)...") I like Gideon's description of life after death and the tie-in at the end. You make it clear that love made it possible for Marlene to face death.

Author's Response: Thanks very much for your review. You are definietly correct in saying that I need a beta -- I think I'll be getting one soon. Thanks for the corrections -- I will definietly fix those.



Something New
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