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Reviewer: Battle Fries (Signed)
02/26/2006 09:30 pm
Wow! Just Wow! There are a few minor grammatical points I could nitpick about, but that's all I could do to this story: nitpick (and I do hope that this is just a first chapte)! The visual details descriving the two girls and their respective sides of the room are simply amazing! I feel very sorry for Ellette; she reminds me of Harry before he knew he was a wizard, with the Dursleys, in many ways. I find it extremely ironic that Laura is described as a Lion, but her parents (well, the mother, at least) seem more like snakes. I wonder what house her parents were in, and I wonder what house Laura will be in. I also liked the different perceptions the characters have of each other: Laura tries to initiate conversation with Ellette, but Ellette is too downtrodden to even realize that Laura is there for her (probably anxiety from all parties about Hogwarts coming so soon). I'm not sure what to make of Mr. Park yet, but I'm eager to find out. I'm wondering if Charlie Weasley is Ellette's father, and if he is, I definitely want to know why they gave Ellette over to such horrible people (well, Mrs. Park, at least). The part about asking the parents for money was very reminiscent of Les Miserables (the Parks would be the Thernardiers, and Ellette's parents would be Fantine). There's so much I want to say about this, but I simply can't think of everything I want to say in words! A marvelous piece of work! I hope to see more soon! 10/10

Author's Response: WOW! Thank you so much! You can't possibly have any idea how much that made my day. Unfortunately, no, Charlie is not Ellette's father, though that was an excellent insight. It does have something to do with Charlie, but I don't think that will come until the sequel. Mrs. Park does get explained, as does Laura, congrats on catching their emotions (Laura trying to talk to Ellette and what not) I was worried no one would see that. And yes, I'm in the process of writing the second chapter, it should be up soon! Thanks for reviewing! You rule!



The Rain Fell
Reviewer: Lionz_4_the_Cup (Signed)
02/26/2006 03:13 pm
excelent! nice job

Author's Response: Thank you very much.



The Rain Fell
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