Great description! Azkaban has never seemed so repulsive.  And you didn't even mention the Dementors.

Lol at:

"...all that intelligence went into choosing another portion of Mozart's Requiem to butcher."

"Now the only 'halo' he had was a bunch of flies that seemed to find his smell rather interesting."

"'Minerva, please do stop hissing, you sound as though you have a slow leak.'”

Interesting and clever explanation of Hera's lack of training: the Ministries of the various countries vying to produce the most powerful witches and wizards.  Sounds a bit like the Cold War when America was competing with Russia over e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g--even education.

I always give honest reviews, so please don't hate me or anything! This is well written, but it just seems to bbe missing something. It doesn't really draw me in, and the plot seems built on a lot of OC elements that just... I don't know, it just leaves me feeling like I've missed something.

Your writing itself is good, but the story just doesn't grab your reader's attention, at least not mine.

"Catching the meaning, Ron, Harry and Hermione simultaneously spit out greetings, making it sound as though a choir conductor had had a spasm during a concert."

 Heh heh, that was great.

Hera certainly is interesting. If only the elder malfoys knew.

Sad...Lucius is in Azkaban, his wife is probably in peril, his son certainly is, and the formost thing on his mind is keeping the Malfoy line pure. Wow.

 Nice job. The beginning, especially, Paints a bleak, horrid picture of Azkaban.