Reviews For I See The Moon

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Reviewer: Calamur (Signed)
08/26/2006 02:21 am

It's so moving! I can't even curse Roman for being a git! It's one of those instances where curiosity gets better of the cat and he asks questions, which normally shouldn't be asked!

Junior Remus was beautifully written! The emotions, the transformation, the thoughts and the sheer fascination for the full moon!

Great short story! Pity the rating meter only has a count till 10 




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Reviewer: Golden_Snitch (Signed)
05/03/2006 02:48 pm
Ooh, I'm crying now! I know it's not canon anymore, but it's still very sweet. I wanted to hurl a book at the older brother, but hey, he doesn't exist so we don't have to put up with him in the books!


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Reviewer: Cody DeDannan (Signed)
04/12/2006 02:09 am
Another very good story!  I enjoy how you've done it from a child's point of view, and very realistically, too.  Poor kid, having to be chained up when he gets older...  :(  The scene-setting and tone of the story were very well conveyed, and the characters were believable.  If I were to offer constructive critisism, it would be mostly mechanics.
 
---Maybe when Papa teaches him how to fly, he could fly up there on his own broom.---
 
"teaches" ought to be "taught" to fit in with the same past tense.
 
---But … if I’m real quiet, as quiet as Mr. Jinx, their kitty cat, maybe they won’t see me.---
 
Another tenses conflict...  "their kitty cat" doesn;t fit with the first-person POV of the thought...  Remus already knows Mr.Jinx is their cat, he woudln;t have to clarify it to himself.  Would it be possible to mention the cat when Remus is thinking about the fish?  Or perhaps afterwards when talking of how the cat walks?  The only other thing i would mention is over using the phrase "little boy".  I do that a lot myself when I write about children (which I write about often!)
 
Man, Roman is a little creep!  Poor Remus....  Did you omit Remus's age on purpose?  I know it never says in canon how old Remus was.


Author's Response:

Actually, I think in HBP, it states he is five, but my book is downstairs LOL. I had in mind for him to be much younger in this story -- 2 or 3. This was written before HBP.

Thanks for the review, and pointing out the goofs!




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Reviewer: Sumomo (Signed)
02/27/2006 10:14 pm
Brilliant, you did a great job! I love the story, you wrote little Remus so well. He's so adorable and you can't help but feel bad for him =/. You did a great job with the mood of this story and portraying Remus' emotions. I imagine he must have been a very confused little boy during the time. Poor kid.

Author's Response: Awww, thanks :)



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Reviewer: LunaMoon224 (Signed)
01/30/2006 06:01 pm
Wow, that was really amazing. Just like all of your fics, but especially this one. I like your way of having Remus bit, and at such a young age. You put so much detail into this, really, I loved it. Poor Remus, I feel so sorry for him in this. Great job!!

Author's Response: Thank you! This fic sprang from a contest idea. I didn't enter this, but that's where the idea came from. However, the story itself didn't come until I happened to see the poem in a catalog. Then it all gelled, and the story wrote itself from there.



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Reviewer: HermioneWeasley1972 (Anonymous)
01/30/2006 10:41 am
All I can say about this is wow! Very descriptive and very heart wrenching. You did a wonderful job with describing Remus as a toddler and his feelings. :) There were a couple of spacing issues but other than that I enjoyed it very much. Good work!

Author's Response: Hmmm...may have to look at the spacing issues, thanks. Glad you liked.



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