You must login (register) to review.

Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
03/29/2006 07:11 am
Like this again.  the humor is fine.  Can't figure out though how Harry would know that Sirius was a 'serious' mischief-maker just by the twinkle in his eye.

Author's Response: I don't really know how else to say it, but it's how you know some kids are mischievous just by looking at them. :)



Chapter 2 - Off to Hogwarts We Go
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
03/29/2006 07:01 am

Love the fact that Kingsley carries around Chocolate Frogs--and thinks Mad-Eye doesn't know about it!

Time has moved on without him. Should we send him back, we might jeopardize our own existence.  --What a tantalizing idea.  And you established that the Blacks were a great threat in the prologue...nice.

Despite some grammatical yuckies (mixing tenses mainly), you have an engaging style.  You limn characters and settings deftly in just a few words.  And your idea for a plot is--to me at least--quite intriguing.

  Having the bad guys adopt Sirius rather than the saintly Tonkses shows a willingness to stick your neck out--just like Sirius.  I like it. 

Just one question: why do you both italicize and place quote marks around your dialog?  Seems superfluous.  I save italics for words I want to emphasize, things people are thinking, but not saying, spirits talking, dreams, etc.

Love, love, love the Malfoys' reasons for taking Sirius in!  And Arthur weasley as a distant relative--of course he would be, as one of an ever-shrinking population of pure-bloods.  Write on, oh Imp!



Author's Response: *lol* ofcourese MAd-Eye can see them. The Italics? well mostly because I started it off that way as a failed technique to try to avoid switching tenses (obviously it didn't work so well).



Chapter 1 - Out of His Time
Reviewer: Appleblossom (Anonymous)
01/12/2006 01:08 pm
Ooooh that was getting good! I'm not a fan of AU fics and I don't know why I decided to read this one but I'm glad I did! Please send me a message when you update. I actually laughed out loud at some parts and I'm very curious to know what will happen at the sorting and what the plot will turn out like. It was sad when Luicius shouted at Sirius in Chapter 2 I felt really sorry for him and I like the way Sirius and Ron don't get on. All and all well done!

Author's Response: Itís been updated and the next chapter is in queue. Sorry I donít really know how to contact you. Am hoping you have that RSS feed (or whatever itís called) enabled so youíll be inform of my reply. ^_^

Glad you liked this despite being and AU and hope Iíll get you laughing all the more in future chapters. :)


Chapter 3 - The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black
Reviewer: Ashley Donnan (Signed)
01/10/2006 06:38 pm
This chapter is so much better than the prologue, which was good! Lol. One line that I lovedlovedloved was, "Deep within the once grand house the air stirred, and the dark halls seemed to whisper their welcome to one of its former occupants." It is a fantastic line, really. Although, at times your descriptions seem a little off, you have the ability, but I think you are unsure of some things, for example, you said "a crop of long hair". Well, crop means 'short' so it's a bit of a contradiction. As in the previous chapter there are a few minor mistakes, which could be fixed with a close readthrough. This chapter truly was great! I am looking forward to the next one. :D

Author's Response: *lol* It does work better than: (Inside the house) *lol* That was how I originally described in until a reviewer much like yourself told me to not do that - that I'm suppose to write a novel not a 'Play' ^_^ .

Thanks corrected that.

The next one would have a different feel to these past 2 chapters. Wanted a light chapter before the chapter that contains some revelation.


Chapter 1 - Out of His Time
Reviewer: Ashley Donnan (Signed)
01/10/2006 06:12 pm
This is a good beginning. There's no way that someone could NOT read the next chapter (which I will do in a sec). It's a very exciting story so far, and I really like the r'ship between Sirius and Regulus so far. I'm also surprised that Sirius's mother is so...nice...I really like the way you haven't made her into the Wicked Witch of the West. I know you have betas already but there are a few minor errors in this chapter. I think maybe you should go through it again with a fine-tooth comb, because there's no reason to let one or two mistakes spoil an otherwise excellent fic. :D

Author's Response: ^_^ ... I think all mothers would love their child ... especially at this certain stage. Mrs. Black may only start to hate Sirius on the later years ... but not on this fic ^_^ ... Although she's not exactly nice ... she's Mrs. Black ^_^

Will check it again...


Prologue
Reviewer: LunaMoon224 (Signed)
01/10/2006 04:08 pm
That was intriguing. I wonder what will happen now, now that Sirius isn't going to be Harry's godfather, and will never have met James. This will turn out to be very interesting, with that set up. I wonder if he'll grow up differently, living with the Malfoys. Great job!!

Author's Response: I've uploaded the next chapter, but that one is mostly comedy. I want a light chapter before I start with some revelations ^_^ ... But at least Harry et. al. finally comes to the picture.



Chapter 1 - Out of His Time
You must login (register) to review.