I loved the flashbacks and the journal, very well done. Especially that last entry, heh heh. Poor Remus, I think so many are focused on Potter in the story that he is forgotten. Wonderful job capturing his anguish.
I enjoyed this a lot. There were three typos:
****So, if we that is to say You, Moony, Wormtail, and myself lay of the pranks she might go out with me!” he said now grinning.****** of should be OFF
“…No…I-I couldn’t…your mental…” I said holding a hand to my heart. your should be you're
I couldn’t stand it! I pulled a prank today. I set of fireworks in Transfiguration, McGonagall even looked relived... should be relieved.
Other than that, good job. :)
Ironically, the only parts of this story that I really didn't enjoy or think flowed well with the rest were the ones you explained that you had drawn from the inspiration of other people's stuff. I love the beginnning and the end. I love the idea of Remus remembering things about his relationship with Sirius, but the journal in the middle with the prank obsession and the discussion of James seems a bit out of place. If you lifted this entirely and filled the space with a few more memories of Sirius and Remus, maybe one or two of all the Marauders, but mainly on Remus and Sirius (since those are the memories he is drawing on), it would be that much better. You write very well!
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