You must login (register) to review.

Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
07/13/2009 01:44 am

I'm gripped! I nearly didn't write this review because I want to keep reading so much!!! A very good ending to the chapter...

9. Passing Judgement
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
07/12/2009 01:10 am

It was good to break the darkness of several past chapters with more of the 'Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match'. A funny chapter for the most part, except for the vengeance scene.

8. Sic Simper Sorex
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
07/08/2009 11:50 pm

Another good chapter! Just one characterization thing:

"That's Corwin, dear little, impish guy," Flitwick said as he took the picture back and beamed at the grinning, waving boy. "My oldest granddaughter Padelia's son. He has his mother's personality, and his father's looks. So, what of your family? Your parents work in the legal field, right? Do you have any brothers and sisters?"

I doubt Flitwick would say 'guy' or 'right?'. I personally would put boy for guy and yes for right.

Author's Response:

Thank you for your reviews! You bring up some good points here -- thanks!

4b. Peace Preservation
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
07/04/2009 10:09 pm

Another good chapter! I found it satisfying in this one the way that Deveroux finally got her own back and showed what she could do.

4a. Peace Preservation
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
07/04/2009 09:54 pm

Chapter 4. 3b Review

Snape's reminiscing <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:595.3pt 841.9pt; margin:72.0pt 72.0pt 72.0pt 72.0pt; mso-header-margin:35.4pt; mso-footer-margin:35.4pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> scene is well written, and I really like it. His emotions and thoughts are portrayed well, something necessary when writing from a character like Snape's point of view.

3b Memories and Meetings
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
08/05/2006 10:07 pm
Love Alicia's game plan, and the zany humor of this chapter.  I never knew magic could be so much fun!

Author's Response:

:) This was a fun chapter to do. I love writing Fred and George, they are so interesting! Also, some of the events/suggestions in this chapter become important later. Verrrry important.

 Thanks for the review!

5. Brooms and Gags
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Anonymous)
05/28/2006 04:06 pm
I loved the visit with Flitwick, one of the teachers we never hear enoough about.  And the rules for dueling were fascinating and sensible.

Author's Response: Thanks! I had fun with that scene, and writing on a character not often seen in the story.

Author's Response: Forgot to add -- those rules will become important later!

4b. Peace Preservation
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
04/29/2006 06:52 am

Ooooh, creepy and awesome Deatheater meeting!

"We are the brotherhood of fire and shadow, of might and craft, of knowledge and greatness. We are the masters of life and death! We fear nothing!"  I can easily envision brown shirts, a snap to attention, and a chorus of 'Sieg'Heils'.

And you almost make me feel sorry for the vampires, poor things: "...splintered into hopelessly divided and ineffective warring factions which the Ministry easily dispatched.

Ooh, and Rita and Ludo as Deatheaters--great twist!

Author's Response:

I'm glad it's "almost" ;) Vampires won't make much of an appearance in this story, but you will see them in the sequel (if and when that goes up) and some of them can be quite nasty.

 Had fun with Rita and Ludo, heh heh. I'm glad you got that visual about the meeting, because something like this is exactly what I was aiming for! Yay!

3b Memories and Meetings
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
04/29/2006 06:33 am
Wow! I could never imagine the Hogwarts staff to be so merciless.  Can't quite believe this, I'm afraid.  (But then, I can't quite believe in the Dursleys or the Malfoys either.)  But you must have a reason for 'stacking the deck' against our heroine...

Author's Response:

Well, I look at it this way: Aurellia is very young -- only 23, I believe (I have to double-check my notes.) Also, look at Dumbledore's track record. They aren't so much hostile with her as exasperated about not being able to get a competent teacher. Unfortunately, Aurellia gets the brunt of it.


3a Memories and Meetings
Reviewer: Spiderwort (Signed)
04/29/2006 06:13 am

I love your description of Aurellia and especially her clothing. I can just see her there in front of her first class.

I like the way you've managed to link the HP magicosm with the world of D & D.  Very plausible, having that Dark Wizard, Grindelwald, about whom we know almost nothing, be the cause of the difference between the two.

Also: "...the highest magical beings tended to be very secretive and elusive, the way we are with Muggles."  This is so like all of humankind, to think they're at the top of the hierarchy.  (I am reminded of that patronizing fountain in the Ministry of Magic atrium) I wonder if Arthur Weasley, in his kindly superiority, knows there's a race even more powerful than his.

And Aurellia is becoming more and more interesting as a character.  Hmm...Muggle-born and a Mindspeaker...

Love poor Neville, the bumbler as usual: "I was having a time of it. First, I could only get a hand to appear, then half my head..."

And you manage to throw in fun Muggle devices without making them seem hokey, esp. that VR thingie--shades of the Star Trek holo-deck!! 

And Aurellia definitely has a point about points.  But darn, you have my fave Minerva raking her over the coals about it.  But then, at her age, she may have become a bit set in her ways...  : )

I'm usually a canon fanatic, but I don't care.  So it's AU.  It's extremely convincing AU.

Author's Response: Thanks! :) Well, Aurellia can come across as very bossy and opinionated. Aurellia and McGonagall will patch things up.

The Parvenu vs. The Establishment
You must login (register) to review.