My goodness, but your writing of these charcters and their dialogue is marvelously perceptive. This... this is amazing. I am falling in love with this story.
Brilliant.
What a brilliant first chapter. I loved the first line - talking about drawing in your reader - and the way this was written (no, crafted) is beautiful.
"It was an odd sort of arrangement to have when you woke with something foul stuck to your head and knew it to be an invitation to lunch."
^^Love. This story was recc'd (the first one of today, actually!), and I'm so glad it was. I can't wait to keep reading the other chapters!