Reviewer: Lourdes, Beta Reader Team Leader for WizardTales (Anonymous)
05/15/2005 12:25 pm
Hello. Do you have a beta reader? We have a free service. If you interested, please get in touch with me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Now on to your story. It is a very good start. Your storyline is engaging. You definitely know how to tell a story. There is development of plot and character. However, you do need someone to proof-read. Two sets of eyes are better than one, and all that. You need to put a space between paragraphs. Hit return twice to get that space.
So far it seems like it could turn out to be a good fic. But there is a lot of work that needs done with spelling and such. Harrys' godfather is Sirius (which you spelled right in the description for chapter 1 but nowhere else). Also there are a lot of words where there is no space between the two, or has letters transposed (an example would be teh instead of the). There are beta readers on this site that could help you with this problem. I myself am one of them, so if you think you would like help just let one of us know.
Err... Your plot is not bad and you have the potential to wrtite a good fic. Unfortunately your Spelling, grammar, and mistakes in the tenses makes it a very trying read.
The spelling for Harry's Godfather is Sirius not Serious. And it is Prophecy not Prophacy.
You really need to get yourself a good beta reader so that your writing improves.
It would be a crime to let your fic go to waste just because of the spelling and grammatical mistakes.
WizardTales is an unofficial fan fiction site featuring works based off of The Southern Vampire Series, The Chronicles of Narnia, Supernatural, The Inheritance Cycle, Harry Potter,The Lord of the Rings and Twilight series'. WizardTales is not associated, affiliated with, or recognized by the authors or publishers of any represented series. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. All stories and artwork remain the property of their authors and may only be copied in any form with their consent.