Good start, I hope you keep up the work.
That was excellent - not to fast paced, not to slow. It was perfect. I also like how the switches between Harry and Matt are done - Very nice. Awesome job!!
Pixies and Pizza
Hmmm... interesting. I like the double stories, and this 'source' sounds quite interesting. I can't help but wonder what it is.
Your characterization is quite good, and the story flows nicely. I know a lot about burns (trust me on this) and they are INCREDIBLY painful. Courtney strikes me as a bit Mary-Sue, but as long as it doesn't get out of hand it's no bother.
Well written and very nice, I hope you write more!
We Begin With the Heroes