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Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
09/18/2009 09:16 pm

I HAVE TO KEEP READING !!! Amazing and unbelievable last chapters, brilliantly written, I was almost crying.




The Great Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match - Part II: Watcher and Hunter
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
09/12/2009 09:35 pm

Another good, eerie chapter, just one mistake that I noticed.

'and the war may already lost before it has begun'. I think you meant: 'and the war may already be lost before it has begun'.




The Great Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match - Part II: Watcher and Hunter
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
08/29/2009 09:17 pm

I love the start! Funny and exciting, especially the first line. Another contractions issue. I don't think even Hermione would say 'but you are insane'. Instead she'd say 'but you're insane'. And the end is mysterious again. My guess is that it's Severus.




The Great Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match - Part II: Watcher and Hunter
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
08/29/2009 08:41 pm

I love the ending, it's mysterious and makes me want to keep reading. But when you're using dialogue you hardly ever use contractions. Most teenagers don't say everything in full, as in "Hello, I am Ron, do not enter that room." Rather they'd say "Hi, I'm Ron, don't enter that room.




The Great Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match - Part II: Watcher and Hunter
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
08/29/2009 08:20 pm

A well written chapter. I completely lost myself in it at the start and it was a shock when I came out of it and was sitting in my own house. Well done.




The Great Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match - Part II: Watcher and Hunter
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
07/13/2009 01:44 am

I'm gripped! I nearly didn't write this review because I want to keep reading so much!!! A very good ending to the chapter...




The Great Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match Part I - The Parvenu vs. The Potions Master
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
07/12/2009 01:10 am

It was good to break the darkness of several past chapters with more of the 'Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match'. A funny chapter for the most part, except for the vengeance scene.




The Great Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match Part I - The Parvenu vs. The Potions Master
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
07/08/2009 11:50 pm

Another good chapter! Just one characterization thing:

"That's Corwin, dear little, impish guy," Flitwick said as he took the picture back and beamed at the grinning, waving boy. "My oldest granddaughter Padelia's son. He has his mother's personality, and his father's looks. So, what of your family? Your parents work in the legal field, right? Do you have any brothers and sisters?"

I doubt Flitwick would say 'guy' or 'right?'. I personally would put boy for guy and yes for right.



Author's Response:

Thank you for your reviews! You bring up some good points here -- thanks!




The Great Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match Part I - The Parvenu vs. The Potions Master
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
07/04/2009 10:09 pm

Another good chapter! I found it satisfying in this one the way that Deveroux finally got her own back and showed what she could do.




The Great Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match Part I - The Parvenu vs. The Potions Master
Reviewer: Ghostlymagic (Signed)
07/04/2009 09:54 pm

Chapter 4. 3b Review

Snape's reminiscing <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0cm; margin-right:0cm; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:595.3pt 841.9pt; margin:72.0pt 72.0pt 72.0pt 72.0pt; mso-header-margin:35.4pt; mso-footer-margin:35.4pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> scene is well written, and I really like it. His emotions and thoughts are portrayed well, something necessary when writing from a character like Snape's point of view.




The Great Snape-Deveroux Grudge Match Part I - The Parvenu vs. The Potions Master
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